An email from Victoria

Today I got this email from somebody named Victoria:

Brooklyn and Lillian have been thinking about inviting a guy for a threesome!

They live near you and have shown clear interest in meeting and sleeping with you!

To read your messages and see how they look like, visit now
http://t.co/r8Rl48BeWg

And you WILL get laid, it’s a guaranteed fact!

********************************************

My response:

Dear Victoria:

Brooklyn, eh? That’s a funny name. I think it got some purchase in the 90’s, although I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe because Brooklyn was becoming a really cool and edgy place then, and that by giving a child that name parents thought they might instill them with the edgy confidence to go out and live a little, perhaps try a threesome with somebody named Lillian, the plain girl who always liked books more than people but now, with the encouragement of Brooklyn, is ready to break out of her shell.

I imagine that three out of five waitresses who work at Coyote Ugly share the name Brooklyn. I would very much like to see a pie chart of waitress names from that place. (Perhaps there’s a web site with such? If you know of one, please send it to me!)

Bu the truth is that I don’t know whether Brooklyn is the name of a guy or a girl. Posh Spice and David Beckham named their son Brooklyn, and there is a supermodel that goes out with a tennis player named Brooklyn, and so it seems to me to be one of those edgy, unpredictable names, like Charlie or Zion, that defy gender categories. You might think me old fashioned, but in the context of a threesome, the gender of the third person makes a difference to me.

The link you provided did not work, but took me to a page where I could buy discounted briefcases. I bought two, so thank you for that. At any rate, please send me a working link, or some other form of gender evidence, so that I might determine the sex of Brooklyn for myself, at which point we might proceed as is appropriate. I will look forward to hearing from you!

Michael Murray

PS: I like guaranteed facts.

PPS: I am married and love my wife very much, but feel that I make my best decisions when I have the greatest amount of information at my disposal.

PPPS: Posh Spice’s first name is Victoria. Coincidence?

PPPPS: I think she’s a natural beauty.