China’s Moon Rover Jade Rabbit’s Letter Home

China’s moon rover, known as Jade Rabbit (or Yutu in Chinese), is about half way through a three-month research mission and is currently in grave peril. Named after a mythical rabbit that lives on the moon, the rover was supposed to “hibernate” during the lunar night, which is actually a period of 14 days where temperatures can fall to -180. If the rover doesn’t go into this hibernation mode it will in essence, freeze to death. Chinese scientists are working to fix this mechanical problem but the prognosis is currently quite grim, so much so that China’s state-run news, Xinhua, issued a news release written in the voice of the rover itself. This is Jade Rabbit’s letter home:

Although I should’ve gone to bed this morning, my masters discovered something abnormal with my mechanical control system and are staying up all night working for a solution. I heard their eyes are looking more like my red rabbit eyes. It is at times like this that I miss hearing them telling me how disappointed in me they were and how I needed to work harder to make China proud. Ha, even the smell of the alcohol on my father’s breath I now miss! Nevertheless, I’m aware that I might not survive this lunar night.

Chang’e (the lander that deposited Yutu on the Moon — so named after the Chinese goddess of the same name who lived on the Moon and had a pet rabbit called Yutu) doesn’t know about my problems yet. If I can’t be fixed, everyone please comfort her with gifts of fine liqueur, solar calculators or buns made in the shape of a peach, for those are her favourites.

Before departure, I studied the history of mankind’s lunar probes. About half of the past 130 explorations ended in success; the rest in failure. This is space exploration; the danger comes with its beauty. I am but a tiny dot in the vast picture of mankind’s adventure in space, but China is great with the best, fastest-growing economy in the galaxy and titanic athletes who will always bring glory home! Chinese Women’s Volleyball is the best! China will never be defeated!!

The sun has fallen, and the temperature is dropping so quickly. I am very cold, but to tell you all a secret, I don’t feel that sad. I was just in my own adventure story – and like every hero, I encountered a small problem. I just want you all to remember, “Do a good job in family planning to promote economic development, for one child is enough!”

Goodnight, Earth, goodnight, humanity.

Jade Rabbit