My 75 year old mother participates in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

Having grown completely exasperated with the weekly New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest, I have asked my 75 year old mother if she would be so kind as to contribute. What follows are her submissions over the last month and a half:

My cat Frito would love it here!

My cat Frito would like to take it from here, Simpson!

Somebody here isn’t eating a balanced diet and if they’re not careful they’re going to get the gout!

I wouldn’t be so pleased with myself if I were you, one day you’ll get yours, and let me tell you, it won’t be nice!

Old Macdonald’s drinking caught up with him and he died two years ago. He had cirrhosis of the liver and then was taken by pneumonia. Just too weak to fight.

You, you’re just another good-time Charlie, you’re not getting the eggs for free from me,  buzz-off!