Obituaries of animals made famous by the Internet

Maru, a Japanese cat who was born on May 24, 2007, achieved unprecedented celebrity through YouTube, receiving over 200 million hits. Famous for his persistent drive to get inside of any box, Maru possessed a curiosity that just delighted the public. He was a really cute cat, even adorable, and he will be greatly missed. Sadly, Maru was ill equipped to deal with the pressures of fame and fell into a cycle of substance abuse, going on frequent cocaine binges where he would do nothing but chase the red dot from a laser pointer.  He lost all interest in boxes, became estranged from his owners and died of heart failure on Friday morning while at a BDSM bar in Tokyo.

We are sad to announce that Crasher Squirrel was killed on Friday after a truck backed over him while he was trying to retrieve a pizza crust that had been left in a parking lot. May the Rainbow Bridge carry you home, sweet squirrel.

Darwin, who shot to fame in 2012 while wandering a parking lot in Toronto wearing a faux-Shearling coat, was found dead on Tuesday night. Known as the Ikea Monkey, Darwin was a sweet and fashion forward monkey who excelled at flinging pillows and masturbating. The absence of his playful, luminous presence will leave a hole that can never be filled. Dangles, Darwin’s life partner of 2 weeks, is asking that in lieu of flowers donations be made toward a banana tree to be planted in Darwin’s memory.

Chris P. Bacon passed away in a drowning accident on July 2. This wheelchair bound piglet– who had just recently signed a three book deal and had almost 5, 000 followers on Twitter– will leave behind a tremendous legacy of fortitude, inspiration and cuteness. Although he did not have the use of his back legs, he more than made up for that with his tiny, super cute heart. Any donations toward further research for safer, airbag equipped piglet wheelchairs are much appreciated.  He was a delicious and beautiful pig.