https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aki6xZCo0Fw
At first this incident was attributed to overheating and dehydration, but this was later revised, the cause falling on a mild case of pneumonia. Whether the initial concealment of this was a simple matter of obscurant political reflex, or if the pneumonia is actually a symptom of a more sinister, underlying condition as many are speculating, is unknown. What is known is that illness, be it mild or grave, is not at all uncommon amidst people around 70 who are subject to inconceivable stress and an insane work schedule. Legions of Presidents have suffered aliments, and this is a short list of some of them:
Lyndon B Johnson had the Dropsy.
Martin Van Buren, after being prescribed laudanum for the pain associated with his gout, became an opium addict. This is an excerpt from Van Buren’s diary:
“ …Men of genius move in orbits of their own; and seem deprived of that free will which permits the mere man of talent steadily to pursue the beaten path. Van Buren was made to soar and not to creep. I should much wish, like the Indian Vishna, to float about along an infinite ocean cradled in the flower of the Lotos, & wake once in a million years for a few minutes – just to know that I was going to sleep a million years more.”
George H W Bush suffered from Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, which is characterized by episodes of severe vomiting that have no apparent cause. Episodes can last for hours or days and alternate with relatively symptom-free periods of time.
Whenever Bush visited Japan, he threw-up almost constantly.
Zachary Taylor suffered from Crop Sickness, a condition that made him unusually cruel to his slaves and eventually killed him.
FDR had Polio and was confined to a wheelchair. The press even colluded with him in attempts to portray him in ways that did not directly associate him with a wheelchair.
Josiah Bartlett suffered from Multiple Sclerosis, but in spite of that is still considered the greatest orator of all the American Presidents.
George W Bush, while on a bombing mission over Hanoi in October 1967, was shot down, seriously injured, and captured by the North Vietnamese. Although Bush was able to charm his way to freedom, his injuries caused him lifelong physical limitations. Art therapy has been a large part of Bush’s continued recovery.
Jimmy Carter was abducted by an alien spacecraft in 1973, thoroughly examined, and then released. He has suffered Night Terrors ever since, and is now obsessed with creating crop circles.
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R: Oh Pickle, I just saw the worst thing!!
R: A man jumped from the Lawrence overpass onto the Don Valley Parkway and I saw his body, pinned underneath a pick-up truck. Just horrifying.
R: Sorry?
R: Oh, I see, your lunch was horrifying.
R: How sad for you that you had to eat the leftover lasagna I made the other night.
R: You’re very brave to endure such brutality.
R: You’re right, I should call it Pink Slimeasagna.
R: Regardless, imagine being behind the wheel of that truck, seeing a man jump and then running over him? Good God, that person will never be the same.
R: No, I don’t mean the person who jumped.
R: The driver.
R: No, I am NOT taking video of it!!
R: It would be awful for the driver to live with that, it would be a life-altering event.
R: Ha-ha. Yes, I’m sure that my leftover Pink Slimeasagna was a life-altering event, too. You’re very funny today, dear.
R: You had a coffee, didn’t you?
R: Sorry?
R: Well, I had never thought about it until now.
R: I suppose driving over a person who had just committed suicide would be more traumatic than seeing a UFO abducting a cow for probing.
R: How would you know?
R: Oh, that’s right, you have lucid dreams!
R: And in these lucid dreams you see UFO’s and drive over suicides?
R: I see.
R: Right, right, Night Time is Mike Time.
R: Did you really have that printed on a T-shirt in high school?
R: Very cool, I bet you were very popular with the ladies.
R: Sure.
R: Yes, I know, you were good at sports, too.
R: Now tell me, back in high school when Night Time was Mike Time, did you wear a Breathe-Rite strip to bed?
R: A Lucid Dreaming sleep mask.
R: It all makes sense now, you know.
R: Me?
R: I could dunk a basketball in high school.
R: And I had many lovers, some of them black, black as the night, Pickle.
R: I’m not being racist. I’m just stating a fact.
R: I never told you this, but I had a baby, a black baby.
R: Because I gave her up for adoption.
R: I was young, that’s why.
R: Her name is Jada.
R: Her father?
R: We haven’t seen one another in months, but we’re Facebook friends.
R: I think he knows about you.
R: Yeah, I think so. Maybe.
R: Not sure.
R: What does he do?
R: Well, he won Survivor: Fiji, but he’s really an entrepreneur, philanthropist, producer and advertising executive.
R: He looks a bit like Marvin Gaye.
R: But that’s all in the past!
R: You wrote a letter to Erin Collins from Survivor: Thailand?
R: You admired her grit?
R: Did she ever write back?
R: Oh, that’s too bad, Pickle.
R: Tell me about some of your high school sweethearts!
R: Oh, well I’m sure playing the field was a very good strategy for you.
R: Yeah, keep your options open.
R: What was high school like in the 50’s, anyway?
R: Okay, see you soon, xox
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