@KuKluxKlanUSA: Finally have the night to myself to work on my novel. The window’s open, I’m drinking Jack and Coke and the KKKat is purring on my lap. #LifeIsGoodButForTheBlacksRuiningAmerica

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Kolby, a sensitive, young White Supremacist and gifted tattoo artist is the main character.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Lost vision in his left eye due to a hunting accident and wears an eye patch. Some say this is when he got “the gift.”

@KuKluxKlanUSA: He goes into a trance whenever he’s inking, and the tattoo he creates foretells the future of the person who gets it. It dooms them to their fate!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Working title: White Tattoo Prophet.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Minorities are ruining America!!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Taco Tuesday’s at Pigglys!! $2 each!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Ate 19 of ‘em. No one else even close. #WhitePride!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Stained my hood a bit, but it was worth it.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Hood is very hot, especially when engaged in competitive eating.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Will take it up at next meeting, as I know I’m not alone in this observation.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Aryan Brotherhood will do anything to KKKeep America pure!!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Not afraid to stain our hoods for the cause! #AmeriKKAForever!!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Are you sure tacos are Mexican????

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Thought for sure they were American.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Really? Kind of like Mexican pizza pockets, I guess.

@KukluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Well, shoot.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Illegal, lazy, dope dealing Mexicans trying to take over America with their sneaky and delicious food. FIGHT BACK AMERIKKKA!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Salma Hayek would make a good sex slave. #SubjugateTheirWomen!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA My cousin was a sex slave for two years. Said it wasn’t so bad.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: Said the food was pretty good and she had cable.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: No, I’m still single.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: Tried a few dating sites but nothing worked. Considering Tinder.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: “Looking for sweet girl who’s also not afraid to die for the cause!!” This is my profile pic.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: Yeah, thanks bud, I’m sure it’ll work out, too!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: The White Brotherhood will never die!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: I really do hate the black race, but I have to say, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson is one impressive man.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Kind of wish he was white and had an incoherent rage against all minorities. That would be cool.

@KuKluxKlanUSA: I mean, if he just applied his intellect to hate and violence instead of astrophysics, he could really make something of himself, you know?

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Also wish Will Smith was white! What an actor!!

@KuKluxKlanUSA: And Denzel. Denzel rules. (That stare. OMG!)

@KuKluxKlanUSA: Babe (White!) of the week:

@KuKluxKlanUSA: KKKristmas is coming up soon! Don’t forget to pick up your Ladies of the KKK Kalendar! All proceeds go to hate.

That’s an awful lot.

Obviously, this has nothing much to do with the quality of the films and everything to do with the marketing of the films. In order to feel invested and fully participatory in the event, we, as audience, go out to see as many nominees as possible– even if the movie happens to be Lincoln. It’s kind of like Black Friday for movies, only without discounts. What’s particularly funny about this cynical display is that one of the prime motivators for the audience in seeing the movies is to simply confirm  that we have MUCH better taste than the Academy. In fact, we will later Live-Tweet about what a horrible, self-congratulatory and vulgar spectacle it all is. But of course, we end up paying them for the privilege of doing so, rendering the ironies so plentiful that it actually gets tiring to think about them.

No matter, this year, the movie that most people are expecting to win for Best Picture is Argo. The film, for those of you who haven’t seen it, is based on the rescue of six US diplomats during the Iran Hostage Crisis of 1979.

Personally, I think that the movie is fine and little more. The one thing that really stood out for me was the opening, a graphic novel kind of prologue in which the historical background for the movie was efficiently and elegantly set. I’d give them an award for that, but for the rest?

Meh.

But Argo probably will win.

Here’s why:

First off, the Academy has always favoured the historical, and this one is appealingly set in an era that all Academy members can vividly recall (they’re at the center of history!)– so for them the movie is kind of like flipping through an old high school yearbook. It’s a story told through the experience of white people, about the vulnerability of white people isolated by impenetrable dark-skinned people, getting rescued by white people.

In short, Argo champions idealized versions of the audience that’s watching the film.  This is a relatively typical Oscar construct though and should be considered practically boilerplate. Where Argo really scores with Academy voters is in embedding Hollywood into the core of the story.

In Argo, for this whole scheme to work, the CIA has to recruit Hollywood to make a fake film, one that will serve as cover so that the hostages can be rescued. Suddenly, people working in Hollywood get to see themselves in a kind of romantic, even noble light. Competent, funny and successful, they have brash, cynical exteriors, but pure hearts. Working in secrecy behind the scenes and out-smarting everyone they meet with impressive sangfroid, they’re the coolest people in the room—the work they’re doing important, rather than self-serving and shallow. And this speaks directly to the Academy voter, allowing them to imagine themselves  in the best possible light, so yes, if I had to bet, I would bet on Argo for Best Picture.