Heidi, our dog:

Our eight-year old Miniature Dachshund has a mysterious marking that looks a little bit like a scar on her nose. When we asked the breeder about this she became very nervous and evasive, worrying the Rosary Beads she had around her neck. She told us it was a “bee sting,” but then begged us not to ask any more questions, knocking $50 off the price for Heidi, “Just take her now, please!!”

Since we took her, we did some research and found out that she was rejected by a previous family. The dog, apparently excited, jumped on the family’s three-year old daughter, knocking her over onto a coffee table. The girl hit her head and was rendered unconscious. The family found her probably about ten minutes after the encounter, with Heidi licking the blood off her head so that it was all over her muzzle. The family was utterly traumatized.  The girl fell into a coma, and although she survived, she now has an imaginary friend named Heidi who makes her do bad things. The family returned Heidi, our dog, to the breeder immediately after the incident. It was the fourth time Heidi had been returned to the breeder by frightened families.

Heidi has knocked me down on at least seven different occasions.

The Crying Boy:

This print, by the Italian artist, Bruno Amadio, was “given” to us by a friend who said he no longer had space for it as he had moved. The painting is huge, perhaps seven feet by five feet, and it looms massively above our living room sofa. Wherever you are, the crying boy is staring at you. We have had the painting for 1 year, and in that time I have been fired from 6 jobs, got shingles and assaulted 4 people. The painting is cursed. I tried to burn it once, but it was impervious to flames.

Heidi’s toy, Belial:

The breeder hastily shoved this toy into Heidi’s crate just as we were about to drive away, “It’s named Belial,” she shouted, “ it is of your dog!” We thought it was a pretty weird thing to say, but whatever. As it turns out, this squeak toy is indestructible. I have thrown it out at least a dozen times and even gone so far as to bury it in the backyard, but it always returns, lying at the end of our bed, staring at us with it’s dead, demon eyes.

Sometimes, when Heidi is playing with it and there’s a frenzy of squeaking in the apartment, Rachelle and I can sometimes hear recognizable phrases forming amidst the cacophony. ” Four-eyes must die,” “Drown him in blood,” “Eat all his food,” “His fear feeds you.” Once, I woke up from a nightmare*(see next entry) to see Belial in the chandelier above our bed just staring down at me. It was the most chilling thing I have ever felt.

Squirrel Pelt Blanket:

When we first got this blanket as a gift, we kept it at the foot of our bed, but both Rachelle and I were plagued by horrible dreams about being a squirrel and getting hunted down and skinned by an old, West Pennsylvania Mountain Man. The same dream, again and again and again. They were utterly terrifying and we’d both wake up screaming, the dog shrieking, too. When we moved the blanket and put it on a radiator in the living room, the nightmares stopped, although squirrels, baleful and lost, often mass on the fire escape outside the window and just stare in at it, as if in silent, foreboding judgment.

Here is a selection of them:

Gravity’s Alec @AlecButModarn

Kanye has inspired me to start working on my novel again, thank you Kanye

Raymond Herrera @rayy_rayyy

I guess not working on my novel for a few days works for me cuz once I begin again I dominate!

shay cleckley @1educatedworld

Late night working on my novel. I’m determined to finish it this year. Full speed ahead.

??Mateus Ward Fan?? @schroer_schroer

Working on my novel “Fears Of The Unexpected.”

Jake Reinhardt @JakeRhino

I’m back in black. I’m working on my novel and nothing can stop me!

The Becoming Suchnez @FefeFatale

I’m so happy being at home that i’ve started working on my novel again. And I LOVE IT!!!!

Max is NOW! @maxisnow

Drinking white wine and working on my novel.

Jodz @ImAlwaysWriting

Working on my novel & the main character loves cemeteries lol its weird but i kinda understand her point of view

Kelli Stuart @kellistuart

Coffee, chocolate and writing. They go together so perfectly. Working on my #novel today.

? koda ? @kodasilly

really need to start working on my novel, I think I’m really onto something with this idea

Patrick Nathan @patricknathan

If each day could consist, as this one, of working on my novel and reading Proust…

JackyRobus @JackyRobus

Love technology! Working on my novel as I sit outside (in my car) during lunch break!

Cheryl CottrellSmith @CottrellSmithC

A bottle of red, a hot bath, and working on my novel until my man gets off work. Sounds like a fantastic start to the holiday.

Lauren Hardy @lauren_hardy

Working on my novel while the pizza bakes in the oven. #whataperfectnight

Natasha E. Neagle @agirlnamednat

Dishwasher repair man is here. I’m working on my novel. He wants to talk. I want to write. AAAHHHHHHH

Sean Hannifin @seanthebest

still working on my novel’s climax, a battle sequence… tricky to get the pacing right

Cassandra Hennessey @LiteraryWomen

I’m working on my novel “Stranded in Paradise” wherein a Goth Rock Star does a complete 180, risking fame and fortune.

Sierra Brown @SoulAlexis135

Currently working on my novel and listen to really nice music. Yeah I’m a writer deal with it.

Pierce Novak @piercenovak

Listening to metal and working on my novel. Must say I am enjoying both.

Sara Wynette @saradoodle_

Staying up late, listening to swing music, working on my novel. I don’t need a guy!!!

Haley Sudduth @haysudds

I’m planning on moving to London to open my own gluten free bakery, but at the moment I’m just kind of laying low and working on my novel.

Sharon @WriterPhotog76

work out was fantastic today! watching some CSI: Miami and working on my novel!

**************************************************************************

Me: Holy Mother of God, you are just stunning! You are insanely beautiful! Jesus!!

Marion: Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say.

Me: Your voice is chocolate, French chocolate.

Marion: I see.

Me: I think I need my inhaler. Sorry. Jesus, this is embarrassing.

Marion: It’s all right.

Me: It’s just that you’re so beautiful. You’re luminous, like a cloud made of gold and light.

Marion: I’m just an actress who has agreed to talk to you about my new movie Rust and Bone that just opened in the United States.

Me: Yes, yes.

Marion: It is a wonderful film, very complex and beautiful.

Me: You train whales in this film, don’t you? You’re a beautiful marine biologist! I bet you look even better with your hair wet. It probably changes the way it smells. If I were a killer whale I would do whatever you told me to do!

Marion: Yes, well, the film is about a whale trainer who suffers a terrible accident where she loses her legs. She is both a physical and emotional amputee, and must let love back into her life. It was a very challenging role for me to play, but as an actor all you want to do is discover more about the human soul.

Me: You have such beautiful legs it would be a shame to lose them, even if it was just in a movie! But yeah, I think I know what you’re saying about the human soul. I get it. You were in Batman, too, weren’t you? I always thought you’d make a great Catwoman. Have you ever thought about being Catwoman? You’re more beautiful than Halle Berry times Michelle Pfeiffer times Anne Hathaway times Halle Berry again, plus all the old TV ones.

Marion: I think that they did marvelous jobs playing that role and I don’t think I’d want to repeat work that had been done so well. I like to always do something new, to always challenge myself.

Me: My wife thinks that I’m a real challenge.

Marion: I am sure that she does.

Me: What movie do you think you were most beautiful in?

Marion: It’s been a pleasure Mister Murray, but I am afraid I’m on a very tight schedule and I have an another appointment to keep now.

As Rachelle and I move through the crowds and against the grain, a jittery man with hair that had been cut out of an imposed, institutional necessity rather than the luxury of seduction, falls in step with us. He’s in his late 30s and he’s asking me for money, telling me that he hasn’t been with a woman in five years and wants to take one out. Pleasepleaseplease, he begs. He’s almost hopping with want, his eyes pleading– the unfairness of the universe written deeply into his every gesture.

Walking toward us is a heavy, young man who looks like might work in a video store and along beside him is the most beautiful girl in the world. His body language is a little bit separate, like he knows he’s not supposed to get too close, and there’s a kindness, a sensitivity to the way that his heavy blonde hair falls and curls to his shoulders. He’s shy, you can see that, and suddenly the most beautiful girl in the world grabs him by the hand and pulls him in to her and begins to neck with him right there in the middle of the sidewalk. It’s the final scene in a movie, and time stops as we all fade like ghosts into the background and they glow, the radiant center of this moment that will never be forgotten or repeated.