It’s a complicated and unresolved situation at this point, but in short, Ghomeshi, a popular radio personality in Canada, was fired from his job because his BDSM sexual proclivities– and the serious allegations stemming from them– were brought to the attention of his employers who decided, upon careful reflection, that they could no longer work with him as he damaged the brand. It is more intricate and terrible than just that, of course, and crisis management teams, wounded parties and insane lawsuits are now a part of the sex storm, but one thing that has happened with absolute certainty is that I now know way more about BDSM and the laws governing it than I ever imagined I would.
As I am a very adventurous and sensual person, I have suggested to my wife that we experiment with some BDSM in our life and she readily agreed. This is the BDSM Journal that I have been keeping.
Day 1
Submissive role: Rachelle
Dominant role: Me
Me: I DON’T WANT TO WATCH NASHVILLE TONIGHT!!
Rachelle: Pickle, I don’t think you’re supposed to yell, I think it’s more a tone thing.
Me: Oh.
Rachelle: Don’t worry. This is new for both of us, just try again.
Me: Okay.
Me: (Clears throat and delivers line sounding like Clint Eastwood) I don’t want to watch that damn Nashville tonight.
Rachelle: No honey, you sound like an old man
Me: Is that good? Does it turn you on?
Rachelle: No, not really. Let’s just watch Nashville, okay?
Grade of experience: 6 out of 10
Day 2
Dominant role: Rachelle
Submissive role: Me
Rachelle: We’re going to Ikea today to find some storage solutions and maybe a runner for the dining room table!
Me: I’m not feeling well.
Rachelle: OBEY ME, SLAVE!!
Me: Coldplay! Coldplay! Coldplay!
Rachelle: Honey, that’s not the safe word.
Me: I forgot it. What is it?
Rachelle: I’m not allowed to tell you. GET IN THE CAR, WE’RE GOING TO IKEA, MAGGOT FACE!
Me: Cold sore! Cold sore! Cold sore!
Rachelle; No, slave, that’s not it either! Put on your leash and get in the car, I COMMAND THEE!!
Me: Are we taking the dog with us?
Rachelle: YES!!
Grade of experience: 0 out of 10
Day 3
Dominant role: Me
Submissive role: Rachelle
Me: Please pass me the salad!
Rachelle: Yes, master.
Grade of experience: 9 out of 10
Day 4
Sadistic role: Rachelle
Masochistic role: Me
Rachelle: I have made bulgur for dinner tonight! It is an excellent source of fiber! Eat it now, worm!!
Me: I have been feeling a little clogged up lately. I deserve to be punished, master.
Rachelle: (Takes my glass of wine away)
Me: Hey! What the fuck???
Rachelle: You are forbidden from having any more wine this week! You drink too much and it’s bad for you, my cockroach!
Me: Cold war! Cold war! Cold war!
Rachelle: Pitiful fool, you’re not even close with the safe word! Teaches you for not listening to your master, now eat your bulgur!!
Me: Is there any Sriracha, at least?
Rachelle: NO! YOU FORGOT TO PICK UP AT THE GROCERY STORY! NOW, SILENCE! (puts on the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing)
Grade of experience: 0 out of 10
Here are some facts about the Roger’s Centre:
1. It took nearly 40 years of (Asian) slave labour and a loss of over 30, 000 human lives to build the great dome, a fact that is considered a black mark on Canadian history. A banner that reads, WE SALUTE OUR FALLEN ASIAN BROTHERS hangs beneath the Jumbotron as a tribute. Folk legend has it that whenever the Jays or Argos go on a prolonged losing streak that they are suffering “The Chinaman’s Curse,” a retribution for the great losses the Asian community suffered during the time of construction.
2. The total construction cost of the Skydome was said to be nearly $1,000,000.
3. The name Skydome was chosen by Horatio Clarence Hocken, the Mayor of Toronto in 1914 when the stadium was opened. Hocken, a jew, said that the name Skydome came to him while in an opium dream-state.
4. The retractable roof of the Skydome was not fully functional until the early 1990’s. However, that didn’t prevent the Skydome from being regarded as Canada’s greatest technological wonder up until the Canadarm came along in 1981.
5. In 1914 the price of a beer at the Skydome was $7.00, today, $22.50.
6. In 2003, Canada’s last public execution took place in the Skydome. Abdul Ghafaar Ali was hung to death on charges of suspected terrorism before a sell-out crowd of 52, 000.
7. Since it opened in 1914, there have been over 600 incidents at the stadium hotel of couples having sex in plain view of thousands of fans, as well as 17 incidents of men being thrown out for masturbating at the window. The Jays have a record of 362-289 when hotel guests are caught naked or having sex.
8. Stadium seats: 50,000 seats for baseball; 52,000 for football and executions and 8,000 to 60,000 for concerts (using the SkyTent).
9. During World War II, the Skydome was used as an interment centre for Japanese-Canadians during the Blue Jays off-season.
10. Gwyneth Paltrow and Colplay lead singer Chris Martin were married in the Skydome.
