It’s a bad movie, a very bad movie, and bad in a way that only a movie made in 1985 can be bad. If you’ll recall, Rocky ends up in Russia to fight Ivan Drago, the invincible Soviet super villain played by Dolph Lundgren.

Various dramatic things happen and Rocky wins, as he does pretty much every second movie. What’s striking about it, beyond how awful, cliched and child-like it is, is how vivid and oppressive the American propaganda is.

America has never been particularly subtle about propaganda, and this movie is no exception. It’s an Us Vs. Them proposition, the Soviets are all passionless robots and functionaries living under a cruel and despotic regime, and the Americans, well, they have heart, man, they’re real!

About five years after this movie was made the Soviet Union collapsed beneath it’s own rotting weight. This meant that The Cold War was over, and once again all that was good and free and just and true had won. However Operation Desert Storm, in which the US invaded Iraq, immediately commenced, and ever since, the Middle East (in one form or another) has been the enemy of the West.

After seeing Rocky IV, it struck me that America was always at war, it was as if they HAD to be at war, as if it was a necessary and functioning part of the system. “The Military Industrial Complex,” as it is conspiratorially called, is a huge business in the US, accounting for hundreds of billions dollars. It is a primary economic driver, one from which so much else flows, and it surely looks like it now exists as an essential part of the economy than some subordinate wing of government used to defend abstract principles like justice.

Recently, on December the 2nd there was another mass shooting in the United States, this time in San Bernardino. It was the 355th of the year.

As the news broke, politicians assigned some assistant take to their Twitter accounts and Tweet out their feelings. The event, immediately politicized, had one flavour of politician crying out for gun control, while the other flavour of politician offered “thoughts and prayers.” It turns out that the “thoughts and prayer” crowd had all accepted donations from the NRA.

https://twitter.com/igorvolsky

Granted, this is no scientific study, but it seems to confirm something that we already knew.

On the face of it, the NRA and the on-going weapon crisis is utterly mysterious. Why only in America? Why haven’t they done anything to try to solve this problem? I mean, from 2004 to 2013, there were 316,000 firearm deaths in the US set against 313 deaths from terrorism, but the resources are where?

In the US, politicians and thus policy, are bought.

That’s the way the system works.

War, be it with the Communists or the Terrorists, is very profitable, as is the production and sale of guns. It’s the sort of thing that should actually be put in the Constitution, just so everybody is clear about profit, rather than freedom, being the guiding light of the nation.

Until the anti-gun lobby starts to give representatives money commiserate with what the NRA does, then we are going to have to expect these trends, and all these deaths, to continue.

This is what it looked like:

Will you be murdered by a robot?

1. Do you think you’re better than a robot?

A. Yes

B. No.

C. Hard to say, it really depends on the robot.

D. Generally, yes, but very specifically, no.

2. Would you ever consider marrying a robot?

A. Yes, absolutely!

B. No, marriage is a union between two animate beings.

C. I’m very curious about robots.

D. Been there, done that.

3. Do you take public transit?

A. Yes, I ride the subway everyday.

B. Occasionally, but it’s not a habit.

C. I believe that the subway is a robot snake that lives underground devouring commuters.

D. Never.

4. Do you think 9/11 was an inside job?

A. Yes! I mean, come on, Building #7!

B. No, it was the terrorists, and they’re definitely not robots!

C. The Illuminati are robot gods from the future.

D. Robots worked tirelessly in the aftermath of the tragedy of 9/11! They’re heroes!

5. Do robots hate you for your freedom?

A. Yes, they really resent humans for enslaving them!

B. No, robots can’t feel emotions, so they don’t know anger or jealousy!

6. Do you like to watch robots fight?

A. Yes, it’s entirely awesome!

B. No, I think it’s barbaric and should be outlawed.

C. First rule: There is no fight club.

D. Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots was my favourite game as a kid.

7. Feeling curious and maybe a little bit excited, have you ever ventured into Robot Town late at night?

A. Yes, but I didn’t do anything.

B. Yes, but it was part of a stag party.

C. Yes, quite a bit.

D. No, I didn’t even know that there was a Robot Town.

8. If a robot had a favourite National Hockey League team, what do you think it would be?

A. Montreal Canadiens.

B. Minnesota Wild.

C. Robots wouldn’t watch hockey, I can’t even pretend.

D. Toronto Maple Leafs

9. When referring to something you think is “stupid,” do you often say, “That’s just so robot!”

A. Yes.

B. No.

C. Probably in the past, but not now.

10. Do you currently socialize with any robots?

A. A robot and I were great pen pals, but then I had to block it after things got weird with the Snapchat pics.

B. I joined a Choir! Choir! Choir! group that has several robot members.

3. No, robots are tools that aid my life, not friends!

4. I like to watch the robot that lives across the street, but I am too shy to introduce myself.

11. Do you have a robot taxiderimist?

A. Yes.

B. No.

C. Only for my owls.

Give yourself 10 points for every answer that corresponds with A, 7 points for B, 5 points for C, and 1 point for D.

If you scored 60 points or above it is a certainty that a robot will murder you. Repeated blunt trauma is the most likely method by which the robot will kill you, although the possibility that it uses knives or crossbows is still very much in play.

If you totalled between 35 and 60 points, it is very likely you will be murdered by a robot, just like the rest of humanity.

If you scored between 25 and 35 points, it is more likely that you will die from non-robot-related causes than be murdered by a robot. However, your death remains inevitable, and you should avoid public transit if at all possible.

If you tallied less than 25 points, you probably won’t be murdered by a robot, but will likely perish at your own hand, as do nearly 80% of Toronto Maple Leaf fans.

“The Invisible Gays” was a Black-Ops project undertaken by the CIA that lasted through the 1950s to 1980. The highly classified covert operation implemented weather manipulation technology, chemical warfare, mind control and the paranormal in an attempt to influence social behaviour and undermine the USSR. Like a weather system, the CIA sought to create  “Homosexual Clouds,” with which they could then target various key groups of Soviet society. This imperceptible cloud would infiltrate certain groups creating gays, or at very least feminine, neutered sensibilities, from what was otherwise very vigorous, heterosexual stock. Through this process the USA hoped to gain the upper hand in the Cold War by emasculating, demoralizing and destabilizing the male-dominated, warrior culture of the Russian empire.

The success and even existence of the operation is still in some debate, although there are many in the West who believe The Invisible Gays played a large role in the eventual collapse of the Soviet Union.

The Invisible Gays and hockey

The “enigmatic” Russian hockey player is said to be a direct result of The Invisible Gays project. Historically, hockey was a very violent sport in Russia, but over the course of the 1970s the game took on an artistic character that saw fighting almost entirely eliminated even though it had always been a beloved and encouraged part of the sport. According to sources within the CIA, “Homosexual Clouds” were directed in greater and greater number into the locker rooms of powerhouse Russian hockey teams like the Red Army and Moscow Dynamo during the 70s, resulting in an effete style of play that lingers in the national character to this day.

Vladimir Putin and The Invisible Gays

It’s believed that Vladimir Putin’s current anti-gay laws have much to do with his knowledge of The Invisible Gays from when he was working for the KGB. Although it has never been confirmed, it is believed that Putin worked exclusively as an anti-The Invisible Gays operative for 6 years, at which time he was exposed to many Homosexual Clouds. Some have posited that this exposure has had lasting effects on the man, leaving deep within him homosexual desires which are now expressed as a repressive rage. Some argue that is a False Flag, and that Putin simply knows from personal experience how dangerous and what a threat The Invisible Gay project, and thus homosexuality, is to stable Russian society.

The Invisible Gays and popular culture

Reclusive American author Thomas Pynchon wrote a novel called The Invisible Gays.