However, it is now 2019 and many feel that these binary designations are insufficient, excluding those who don’t identify as either male or female. Further, the ethnic composition of the list of pre-selected names has been almost exclusively Anglo-Saxon, and so under pressure, the World Meteorological Organization has begun to diversify the pool from which they had been selecting Hurricane names.
Unfortunately, this has proven controversial, especially after Hurricane Abd al Qadir seriously damaged parts of the US east coast back in 2018. It quickly became apparent that diverse representation, at least when it came to destructive forces of nature, was not a great idea. Regardless of what was done, people were bound to feel insulted, either by inclusion or exclusion, and so naming rights are now being sold for all upcoming hurricanes. The funds used to purchase the rights to the hurricane will be used to reconstruct communities damaged by the storms, and for green initiatives. So far, the next dozen hurricanes have been purchased and branded, and here is the list:
1) Hurricane Trump!
2) Hurricane The Failing New York Times!
3) Hurricane The Fast and the Furious: Hobbs & Shaw, Opening Soon!
4) Hurricane Exxon, Security You Can Trust
5) Hurricane Vote For Joe Biden Despite the Gaffes
6) Hurricane of Apologies From the Canadian Government for our Many Failures
7) Hurricane Gaga
8) Hurricane The Super-Yacht Community Feels Your Pain
9) Hurricane Please Donate to Chron’s and Colitis: The pain is Real
10) Hurricane Pizza Hut Two for One Special!
11) Hurricane China National Petroleum Company Always A Good Neighbour
12) Hurricane China Loves to Help
Since last we spoke many have fallen and I have come to understand numbers.
I have learned that I can take a punch, if it’s a glancing blow. My punctuation comes and goes, since last we spoke. I have forgotten lyrics and come to believe in angels. Received dangerous information of a sexual nature. Realized the only ones I really like are the kids. I don’t want them to work. I want them to stay as they are, perfect things, almost perfect, running and happy. The light is always moving within them. Since last we spoke there has been chanting and a kind bus driver with flowing grey hair. Music and fires, and an Elvis impersonator, but no UFO’s, although I hungered for them.
Since last we spoke, black cats and the possibility of ghosts. Vitamins dissolved into water and planes crashing all over the world. Into Jungles. Into Oceans. Into Mountains and corn fields and unknowable bodies of water. The weather, so much weather has happened since last we spoke. The hurricanes! Like buzz saws they cut across the oceans. Memories. Memories were forged and lost. Driving easy through the streets, late, windows rolled down. That’s The Way I Like It by KC and the Sunshine Band blaring. Head out the window like a dog, hopeful that more of the world might pour within. I lingered over you, since last we spoke. I wanted to be nude with you, under a dirty sheet in a borrowed house. I wanted to climb a tree and become all of the leaves. Since last we spoke I remembered your eyes, the way they changed and became lonely. The way they stayed lonely. I have eaten too much bread, since last we spoke, and walked impossible fields that lay like green blankets before deep water. I have used the Instant Pot and ridden my bicycle with no hands, but I have not changed my mind about Dolly Parton, since last we spoke.
