Me: You coming to Barbados for the big surf competition, Soup Bowl?
Man who looked like Chomsky: What?
Me: Barbados. The surf competition. It’s like their version of the Super Bowl, only in water.
Man who looked like Chomsky: No, I have other business, although I do like the beach.
Me: I’d like to surf but I’m scared. I used to be scared of sharks when I was a boy but now I’m scared of jellyfish. They’re taking over the oceans.
Man who looked like Chomsky: (Said nothing)
Me: Are you Noam Chomsky?
Man who looked like Chomsky: Yes.
Me: WOW!! I thought so!
Chomsky: (Nods)
Me: So, what’s up with Occupy Wall Street?
Rachelle: (In a whisper-hiss) Pickle, be quiet, for the love of God!
Chomsky: I don’t know what you mean.
Me: I hear they’re buying up debt from collection agencies and then forgiving it. I would LOVE it if they bought some of my debt. Do you have any sway in that?
Chomsky: No, I don’t.
Me: You know, you’ve really shaped a lot of minds over the decades. I bet a lot of college kids name their pets after you. Thousands of dogs and cats named Chomsky.
Rachelle: I’m sorry, my husband is dehydrated and only slept for an hour last night. Please forgive us.
Chomsky: I see.
Me: If I was an anarchist like you I wouldn’t wait in line. I’d just charge right through, upset the system and start a revolution by hitting the beach!
Chomsky: You do like the sound of your own voice, don’t you?
Me: I’m just social and maybe a little nervous meeting you, I guess.
Chomsky: I’m sorry, I just need to be alone with my thoughts, okay?
(Several minutes pass)
Me: You’re going to be really hot wearing that corduroy jacket on the island, you know.
Chomksy: (Ignores me)
Me: (Whispering to Rachelle) I can’t believe he has a corporate logo on his laptop bag. Adidas? Really? They must have paid for his trip.
Rachelle: (Whisper-hiss) Just find your passport and shut-up, okay?
(Awkward silence for the rest of our wait to customs)
]]>As we were waiting, two people inside the exhibit started to pound desperately on the wall. The security guards manning the installation jumped into action and opened the door, and amidst a spill of balloons a guy and girl emerged, each one in a panic, shaking and pawing at themselves as if covered in worms.
Rachelle looked over at me, “You’re going to freak-out, aren’t you?”
“No,” I said quietly.
“It says right there on the wall that people with claustrophobia shouldn’t go in. You can’t see at all in there. It’s nothing but black balloons, and if you’re prone to anxiety, it might not be the best experience for you.”
“I’m not prone to anxiety,” I whispered.
“Pickle,” Rachelle answered, “you have sweat on your upper lip and your left eye is twitching, just like when you have a good hand in cards. Are you sure you want to go in?”
I went in, dissolving into the balloons.
The acoustics were muffled and you really couldn’t see anything but the latex exterior of the black balloons. Dislocating rather than threatening, it was still an uncomfortable feeling. I moved slowly about fanning the balloons away as best I could, but they immediately reconstituted around me as if trying to attach and feed–an assembly of jellyfish clustering. It was disorienting and as I inched along the perimeter the room became denser and hotter, the air feeling remote and less accessible. I had no idea how to get out or how large the room was and I was starting to feel a little anxious, and then I heard somebody softly crying. I thought it might be part of the exhibit, but I wasn’t sure.
“Is somebody crying?” I asked.
“I’m fine, “ a woman said, “sorry.”
I shuffled along the wall toward the voice, eventually coming into contact with somebody slumped to the floor.
“Do you need any help?”
“No,” she answered, “I’m okay, thanks. I’m not panicked or anything, just a little emotional. My mother died recently and whenever I was feeling lost, she was always there to help guide me, you know? It’s a silly thing, but this just brought her right back to me. I’m really fine and sorry for the little scene.”
And then I heard her get up and move off into the balloons.
