Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 1 Jan
Don’t go into the New Year holding a grudge from last year. Leave the hurts and disappointments behind.
Michael Murray @michaelmurray 1 Jan
But I am still very angry and disappointed! Why did God forget to make me money???
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 1 Jan
Get ready; things are shifting in your favor. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Believe this is your year for acceleration.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 1 Jan
I don’t understand. Do you mean my anger and disappointment are going to accelerate or that God is some kind of passive-aggressive reverse psychologist?
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 2 Jan
This is a new day. The tide of the battle has turned. Declare freedom from anything that is holding you back.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 2 Jan
I declare freedom from our Visa bill. Also, amnesty from poker debt. Supernatural debt relief is completely fucking awesome!!!
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 3 Jan
Make room for something new. Go out today expecting blessings, divine connections & unprecedented favor.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 3 Jan
I am stoked. Will wear my favourite, God-approved argyle sweater!! Look out, ladies!
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 4 Jan
Whatever wrong has been done in your life, get past it. God knows what He’s doing. You are not at a disadvantage.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 4 Jan
I only have one lung. God made humans with two lungs. I have one. How is that not a disadvantage??!! Do you or God even have an idea what getting through a humid day with one lung is like???
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 5 Jan
Don’t settle in the land of barely enough. Have an abundant mentality. Make room for God to show you His goodness in a new way.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 5 Jan
Still angry about your last post, but it’s true, I’ve been living in the land of barely enough WAY too long. Also, God would want me to let your last post go, right?
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 6 Jan
You can’t think thoughts of lack and expect to have abundance. We serve a God of more than enough.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 6 Jan
And Satan is like the tax department? You’re starting to confuse me, or a demon has seized me with the bafflement. Maybe both.
Joel Osteen @JoelOsteen 7 Jan
Good news: The right people are already in your future. It’s just a matter of time before they show up.
Michael Murray @michaelmurrayca 7 Jan
And they’re bringing the money, right? God and I need to be straight on this.
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