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The Toronto International Film Festival start today and pretentious two-leggers everywhere! They stand in line and talk loud about “friend in LA” and “ski trip took in Aspen while at Sundance.” Posers wear TIFF pass around neck like holy cross! Make Heidi want to puke and then eat puke up again!
But truth is festival not about two-leggers but about movies.
This is list of movies Heidi going to see.
1. The Master.
Sound scary, like about bad two-legger who hate dog and maybe make dog slave, but actually about Scientology and star that guy who everybody say good actor. He kinda fat. Forget name. Complicated name. Heidi into Scientology for a bit when she found out that Christ God say dogs have no soul and no get into heaven! Heidi left church after that! But Scientology weird and expensive, so Heidi ran away after achieving OT II.
2. Rust and Bone.
Heidi LOVE movie about bone!! Hope it about meat bone not chicken bone.
3. Love, Marilyn.
Documentary on famous two-legged sex bomb Marilyn Monroe. Heidi always relate to Marilyn! When she said, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best,” she could have been talking about Heidi. Poor Marilyn, she was like candle in wind!
4. Hyde Park on Hudson.
Bill Murray favourite of Heidi. He would make good pack leader.
5. Amour.
Heidi no know what this about but given free pass in park when playing fetch. Seat filler, I guess
6. Looper
Star Bruce Willis!!! Two-legger travel in time and shoot himself! Movie made of awesome! Yippie ki-yay, motherfucker! Also star Joseph-Gordon Levitt. Heidi like to lick him, Heidi lick him long time!
7. Silver Linings Playbook.
Heidi dreamer. Believe every cloud have silver lining, so Heidi want to see movie about silver lining. Heidi favourite silver lining leftovers.
8. Bad 25.
About Michael Jackson! He King of Pop and friend to animals! Good father to Bubbles and when he Moon Walk, Heidi think anything possible! Poor Michael, he die far too young. Hope doctor who kill him with horse medicine go to jail forever! He very, very bad dog!
9. On the Road.
Star that bitch Kristen Stewart from Twilight. Can’t believe she cheated on Robert Pattinson! Even though Heidi always on Team Jacob big time, still think Kirsten Stewart bad bitch! Where her pack loyalty? Heidi go to movie just to bark!
10. Argo.
Heidi know dog named Argo.
Only reason Heidi want to see movie.
Also have free pass.
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