In an effort to bolster awareness of this and to encourage it’s citizens to help in creating a “city within a forest,” the city has mapped out all of it’s 70,000 trees, given each one a unique ID number, and invited residents to write the tree of their choice, with the tree actually writing back.

Here are some of the letters that people have sent in to trees:

“You’ve got to stop leaving your tree garbage all over the goddamn place! Every day you’re dropping crap on my driveway and I’m sick of finding it on my car and having to clean it off all the time. Knock it off or I’m going to chop you the hell down, I mean it!”

“For the last seven years you’ve stood outside of my front window. Each day I sat at my desk working and you were always there, my constant companion, and over time you became a symbol of my little house. Whenever I was really looking forward to getting home, and then would see you from down the street, I’d just relax, knowing I was almost where I wanted to be.  You always had a calming effect on me, and after all these years living in Melbourne I feel like you’ve been my best friend. I’m moving to London now, and I think I’m going to miss you more than anyone.”

“You happen to be at a really convenient location, in a park right between the pub and my flat. I must have pissed on you a hundred times over the years. Did it bother you that I did that? I never thought so. I figured you understood, and I always liked that moment or relief, leaning against you, my forehead and arm resting against your trunk, just the sound of my piss being absorbed into the ground. It was a timeout, you know? Anyway, I just wanted to thank you and let you know that you’re a bloody great tree!”

“My name is Randy and I’m in grade three. I really like trees and think they are important. You offer shade, help to make air and let animals live in your branches for free. Can you talk to the animals? Also, can you talk to other trees, and like in Lord of the Rings, will you be able to one day rise up and help fight against terror with the rest of the world? Thank you for all you do for the planet! You’re a hero!”

“Back in 1996 I carved my girlfriend and my initials into your trunk. He name was Marie Bell and we were just graduating from high school. Things didn’t last very long, as we both went our separate ways after school and lost touch. Anyway, I recently moved back to town to help look after my mother, and now I pass by you nearly every day. You always remind me of young Marie Bell, and so after nearly two decades of barely ever thinking about her, I think about her everyday. I wonder if she ever thinks of me, or even remembers that night I carved that heart around our initials.”

Here is a selection of them:

Gravity’s Alec @AlecButModarn

Kanye has inspired me to start working on my novel again, thank you Kanye

Raymond Herrera @rayy_rayyy

I guess not working on my novel for a few days works for me cuz once I begin again I dominate!

shay cleckley @1educatedworld

Late night working on my novel. I’m determined to finish it this year. Full speed ahead.

??Mateus Ward Fan?? @schroer_schroer

Working on my novel “Fears Of The Unexpected.”

Jake Reinhardt @JakeRhino

I’m back in black. I’m working on my novel and nothing can stop me!

The Becoming Suchnez @FefeFatale

I’m so happy being at home that i’ve started working on my novel again. And I LOVE IT!!!!

Max is NOW! @maxisnow

Drinking white wine and working on my novel.

Jodz @ImAlwaysWriting

Working on my novel & the main character loves cemeteries lol its weird but i kinda understand her point of view

Kelli Stuart @kellistuart

Coffee, chocolate and writing. They go together so perfectly. Working on my #novel today.

? koda ? @kodasilly

really need to start working on my novel, I think I’m really onto something with this idea

Patrick Nathan @patricknathan

If each day could consist, as this one, of working on my novel and reading Proust…

JackyRobus @JackyRobus

Love technology! Working on my novel as I sit outside (in my car) during lunch break!

Cheryl CottrellSmith @CottrellSmithC

A bottle of red, a hot bath, and working on my novel until my man gets off work. Sounds like a fantastic start to the holiday.

Lauren Hardy @lauren_hardy

Working on my novel while the pizza bakes in the oven. #whataperfectnight

Natasha E. Neagle @agirlnamednat

Dishwasher repair man is here. I’m working on my novel. He wants to talk. I want to write. AAAHHHHHHH

Sean Hannifin @seanthebest

still working on my novel’s climax, a battle sequence… tricky to get the pacing right

Cassandra Hennessey @LiteraryWomen

I’m working on my novel “Stranded in Paradise” wherein a Goth Rock Star does a complete 180, risking fame and fortune.

Sierra Brown @SoulAlexis135

Currently working on my novel and listen to really nice music. Yeah I’m a writer deal with it.

Pierce Novak @piercenovak

Listening to metal and working on my novel. Must say I am enjoying both.

Sara Wynette @saradoodle_

Staying up late, listening to swing music, working on my novel. I don’t need a guy!!!

Haley Sudduth @haysudds

I’m planning on moving to London to open my own gluten free bakery, but at the moment I’m just kind of laying low and working on my novel.

Sharon @WriterPhotog76

work out was fantastic today! watching some CSI: Miami and working on my novel!

*********************************

Prince:

“ It was in 2004 and I was on a flight from London to Dubai. While flipping through the stations on my headset I started to listen to the Oldies station because they were playing a little known Beach Boys song that I just adore called “I Can Hear Music.” I just sort of fell into the station the way that you do, and then as if plucked from my nightmares, they played “Purple Rain.” I will never forget the cheesy announcer saying, “He may be a gracefully aging king now, but he’ll always be a Prince to us.” I wanted the plane to crash.”

Bryan Adams:

“I was at the fucking Home Hardware buying a couple of those big 5 gallon water pumps for my studio, okay?”

Michael Stipe of REM:

“I was paying for gas in Michigan. Funny, though, it didn’t make me feel old or irrelevant, it just made me feel beyond time. How long did it take for that to happen? 20 years? That’s really not very much time, but that’s all it took for us to become a part of musical history, to become the music that your parents loved. “

Sarah McLachlan:

“Oh Christ, I wish you hadn’t asked me that! I was in a Vancouver wine bar with a friend and the place was playing some generic radio station, and I don’t know why, but I was listening to the DJ just as she announced, “And here’s an oldie but a goodie by our own Sarah McLachlan—a classy woman.” And then my song “I Will Remember You “ came on and all I could think about was some woman in a retirement home singing along, broken and out of key, while thinking of her dead husband. Oh, it was just awful, I mean, it shouldn’t have been, but it was, it really, really was. And my friend Liz, who was sitting across from me, could see the obvious look of mortification on my face, and she just said, “Classy, classy woman, that Sarah McLachlan. “

Randy Travis:

“The God honest truth is I’m not positive that it was an Oldie’s station, but I was damn sure at the time that it was. I was in jail, that first night after my infamous DUI, and as I was getting processed one of the clerks was playing her radio and my song “Forever and Ever, Amen,” came on. I looked up, startled and ashamed, thinking about the words and what was actually happening to me, and I must have looked a fright because she turned it off immediately.”

Dear Michael:

It was my honour to take your virginity last night. For your first time, you were certainly adequate and I commend you.

Best wishes,

Prime Minister Thatcher

Dear Margaret:

Wow!

Just wow!

I guess I thought it was going to be softer or something, but man, it was still great and strange and gross and awesome! Just thinking about it now, I can summon your talcum powder scent and hear your hurried, instructional breathing once again.

I had no idea that there were different “positions.” I think I would like to try every “position” with you.

Love,

Michael

XO

Dear Michael:

Your youthful enthusiasm and attempts at a British accent while drunk amuse me. However, I must candidly admit that I do not see a future for us, or even for you in the unforgiving economy of the real world that awaits you after university, but for now you are functional.

Please call my driver (I gave you his personal number three days ago, remember?) at 10:45 tonight.

Regards,

Prime Minister Thatcher

Margaret:

I had never done it in a Limo before!

Let me tell you, you are my Falkland Islands.

You are my one, true prom.

You are the Vice-Principal I always dreamed about, and I really appreciate how you’re helping me with my elocution.

Love,

Mike

xo

PS: By the way, Great Britain seems like a name that holds itself in very high regard. I mean, if the USA started to call itself Awesome America, would you go to war with them?

Mr. Murray:

Great Britain would defend herself in any way that she saw fit!

Would you like that? Would you like if the first lady of Great Britain began to defend herself? Are you ready for that? I control the entire military and police force, you know. I have an iron fist.

Directly,

The Prime Minister of Great Britain

PS: How does the phrase “sado-monetarism” strike you?

Margaret:

There is a karate superhero with a smoking gun of a hand called Iron Fist. Are you named after him? He is way cool, a kind of ninja who pals around with a big black guy named Power Man. They fight evil wherever they encounter it, kind of like you and apartheid.

You’re cheating on your husband, you know. How does that feel?

By the way, I do not understand “sado-monetarism,” but if it’s a position with you, I am willing to try it!

I want your Iron Fist, placed ever so gently, in my mouth.

Love,

Michael Murray

Xoxxo

I never heard from her again and it turns out I completely misunderstood what apartheid was all about.