The attendees, the world’s financial and economic elite, are a small group but one that still manages to account for roughly 50% of the entire wealth on the planet. This is entirely mind-blowing, of course, and the fact that 1,700 private jets transported this precious cargo to their destination nestled in the Swiss Alps, where they were to focus their collective genius on income inequality and climate change is tragically ironic. The organizers of the meeting even went so far as to hire A-List actresses Marion Cotillard, Charlize Theron and Jennifer Lawrence, as well as all-time Major League Baseball hits leader Pete Rose to work the coat-check.
Its no surprise then that the swag given to each person who attended the conference was impressive, to say the least. What follows is a list of the items and services provided in the official Davos Gift Bag for all who attended the 2015 World Economic Forum:
A stylish satchel with shoulder strap that proudly states, “Committed to improving the state of the world.”
A pair of Roots Canada winter mittens.
A 1.5 litre bottle of virgin glacial water, hand-melted by Greenland artisans who chip the ice out of the glacier, transport it home and melt it over a fire using a traditional stentøj.
An albino peacock.
Box seats at the 2016 NHL All-Star game.
A six-month personal services contract with a supermodel.
A permit to hunt the Amur Leopard of the Primorye region of Russia.
A lock of Ronald Regan’s hair.
An Academy Award.
Sarah Palin’s stolen cell phone pics.
A special guest appearance on Game of Thrones.
Embryonic stem cells from Roger Federer’s twins.
Time machine.
Actual torture hood used at Abu Ghraib.
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Me: Holy Mother of God, you are just stunning! You are insanely beautiful! Jesus!!
Marion: Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say.
Me: Your voice is chocolate, French chocolate.
Marion: I see.
Me: I think I need my inhaler. Sorry. Jesus, this is embarrassing.
Marion: It’s all right.
Me: It’s just that you’re so beautiful. You’re luminous, like a cloud made of gold and light.
Marion: I’m just an actress who has agreed to talk to you about my new movie Rust and Bone that just opened in the United States.
Me: Yes, yes.
Marion: It is a wonderful film, very complex and beautiful.
Me: You train whales in this film, don’t you? You’re a beautiful marine biologist! I bet you look even better with your hair wet. It probably changes the way it smells. If I were a killer whale I would do whatever you told me to do!
Marion: Yes, well, the film is about a whale trainer who suffers a terrible accident where she loses her legs. She is both a physical and emotional amputee, and must let love back into her life. It was a very challenging role for me to play, but as an actor all you want to do is discover more about the human soul.
Me: You have such beautiful legs it would be a shame to lose them, even if it was just in a movie! But yeah, I think I know what you’re saying about the human soul. I get it. You were in Batman, too, weren’t you? I always thought you’d make a great Catwoman. Have you ever thought about being Catwoman? You’re more beautiful than Halle Berry times Michelle Pfeiffer times Anne Hathaway times Halle Berry again, plus all the old TV ones.
Marion: I think that they did marvelous jobs playing that role and I don’t think I’d want to repeat work that had been done so well. I like to always do something new, to always challenge myself.
Me: My wife thinks that I’m a real challenge.
Marion: I am sure that she does.
Me: What movie do you think you were most beautiful in?
Marion: It’s been a pleasure Mister Murray, but I am afraid I’m on a very tight schedule and I have an another appointment to keep now.
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