His pitches were comets from distant and never imagined galaxies. They were rockets, they were bombs, they were terrifying, curving flourishes that made you think you were watching the astonishing dazzle of an alien technology. It was a new kind of physics, one that allowed him to perform stunning feats that lifted us from our lousy, mortal shells,.

He was a blazing fire, a goddamned Demi-God.

Fernandez died in a boating accident on Sunday at the age of 24.

( This is a photograph of Dee Gordon, Jose Fernandez’s teammate. Gordon is known for his speed, not his power, and he is so thin and little that he truly looks like a child out there amongst the gigantic professional athletes. On the first game back after his friend’s death, in his first at bat, he hit a home run, and as he circled the bases he wept like a boy. As he said later in an interview, “I ain’t never hit a ball that far, even in batting practice. I told the boys, ‘If you all don’t believe in God, you better start.’ For that to happen today, we had some help.”)

Three times, Jose attempted to defect from Cuba to the US unsuccessfully, and after each failed attempt he was put in prison where, still a boy, he shared space with hard and dangerous men. In 2007, at the age of 15, he made the crossing successfully, but not before somebody on his boat was washed overboard. Fernandez, operating on the pure instinct of a boy that age, when right and wrong seem clear, and your body, your entire life, is still radiant and unlimited, dove into the night waters to save the person. He had no idea who had been swept into the ocean, and with each stroke he took, an eight-foot wave grabbed him, lifting him up into the shifting darkness above, before splashing down and submerging him again. The person, somewhere before him, bobbing in and out of sight, was his mother. He got to her, told her to hold tight to his left shoulder, asked her not to push down, and slowly swam her back to the boat.

Imagine that.

Imagine doing something so great with your life.

His baseball career was short and beautiful and joyous. It was something to behold, each start an event I got excited for, anticipating it the same way some other people might anticipate a new Game of Thrones episode or a Bruce Springsteen concert.

He was, in a word, awesome, and his death was a tragedy for the communities he lived amongst, and even beyond, even to a 50 year-old white guy living in Toronto who found himself trying to explain to his wife why he’s crying about the death of some pitcher on his fantasy baseball team.

The boat Fernandez was on the night of his death was traveling around 55-60 mph. He was with two of his friends, both around his age, and it was late. It would have been dark, black even– nothing but the feel of water beneath and sky above. Everything beautiful, the wind and spray and stars in his face, infinity spreading out in all directions…And Jose Fernandez, soon to be a father, moving into the future with such velocity, confidence and hard earned momentum… And then the boat hit a rock jetty and all three of the men died on impact.

Just like that.

They would not have known what had happened.

Our lives are so brief.

We’re all speeding through the dark, the beautiful and the damned, alike, each one of us luckier and more vulnerable than we could ever imagine.

Shortly after this stunner was completed, the Jays signed Melky Cabrera, thus transforming their team into serious contenders to win the American League East.

Canadian sports teams have long had a hard time persuading foreign-born players to sign contracts here, as many players know very little about Canada, fear the taxes and imagine that they can make greater endorsement money in the United States. As such, the Toronto Blue Jays send a letter to all new players in an effort to familiarize them with their new environment, hoping to ease the transition and help teach them everything that they might need to know in order to prosper in Canada and more specifically, Toronto. This is the letter that the Blue Jays sent out to their most recent acquisitions:

Welcome new Blue Jays!

Let us first say that we’re absolutely thrilled to have you as part of our organization and are looking forward to a great year that will hopefully see us all working together to win the World Series!

All trades are disorienting experiences, especially when they involve moving to a new country and so we want to tell you a little bit about your new home to make your life as a Toronto Blue Jay as easy and fun as possible!

Canada is a geographically large country with over 30 million inhabitants and 3 million lakes. That’s one lake for every 10 people in the nation! You might think that Canadians would be expert swimmers or subsist on a strictly fish diet, but this is not true at all. Canadians have a diet very similar to Americans and are good at hockey, a sport that involves skating on frozen water. However, baseball is very popular here, too, and as young, rich professional athletes you will enjoy every opportunity you might expect.

There is Internet in Canada and you will find plenty of sexual opportunity here. Rape and sexual assault are considered serious crimes, and although we will have teams of lawyers helping you out, you are not allowed to grope or have sex based on a vibe. You need consent, but rest assured almost all women will willingly want to have sex with you, so this shouldn’t be a problem at all.

This brings us to another point. Many men will also want to have sex with you. Toronto is a very large (5 million people) city with a lot of cultural and ethnic diversity, and some of this diversity includes gay people. Gay people like to have sex with members of their own gender. But remember, what is true for a woman is also true for a man, (Canada is a land of equality!) so a gay man cannot rape or molest you unless they have your explicit permission to do so. As repulsive as this may be to you, it is important that you do not go out of your way to insult the gay community in Toronto, so beating them up or making slanderous comments comparing opponents to fags is strongly discouraged.

Unfortunately Pit Bulls are banned and you will not be able to bring any of your warrior-pets into the country. In general, dog fighting is frowned upon in Canada and people treat dogs almost as if they were small children instead of extensions of an individual’s masculinity. You are welcome to bring in other, deadly breeds, though, just not the Pit Bull.

Many Americans consider Medicare to be an attack on their civil liberties. Canada does have a free health care system for all of its citizens, but you are under no obligation to use it. Buffalo is very close to Canada, and you are welcome to go there and pay for all of your medical needs and abortions.

Real Estate is expensive in Toronto, but as you are wealthy this should not pose a significant problem.  Many players like to simply rent a luxury suite at the Rogers Centre where we play baseball, and keep a home with their wife and children in another country. This is an excellent strategy for maintaining strict separation between mistresses and families. Veterans on your team will guide you on this matter.

List of Toronto Strip Clubs:

The Brass Rail

701 Yonge Street.

This is a very well known strip club and although you can expect special service, you will very likely be recognized.

The Landing Strip

191 Carlingview Drive

Out near the airport, this one has a little bit of edge. The women are generally less attractive but they are inexpensive.

Club Paradise

1313 Bloor W.

Very popular with people of colour.

The Lounge

1820 Dundas Street East

This features male and shemale strippers. Do not make a rookie mistake!

Contrary to popular mythology, Bigfoot sightings are still very rare in Canada.

Welcome to the Blue Jay family!