Ford has submitted an audition tape with a number of sample interviews he’s conducted, and this is a small selection:

Doug Ford interviews Deepak Chopra (Indian-American author, public-speaker, businessman and physician)

Doug Ford: So, what do you like better being a doctor or being a businessman?

Deepak Chopra: Well, we are more than just the labels that society puts on us. Yes, it is true that I am a businessman and doctor, but I, like all human spirits, am many things, and everything that I do nourishes my soul equally.

Doug Ford: I’m a very successful businessman. We make labels. We’re called Deco Labels. Three different locations, two in the GTA and one in Chicago. Deepak, let me ask you, you ever been to Chicago?

Deepak Chopra: I have been many times and will be there next week to promote my new book, Why is God Laughing: The path to joy and optimism.

Doug Ford: That’s great. You should take in a Blackhawk’s game and go to Michael Jordan’s steak house. Jesus, those are some good goddamn steaks.  Do you eat steak in India? I mean, you folks worship cows, you’d think you’d know and appreciate how delicious steak is. By the way, I’ve always admired the Indian people, you guys are great, very colourful and polite.

Doug Ford interviews Suzanne Somers (comedienne, actress and businessperson)

Doug Ford: Let me tell you, thirty years ago you were just about the hottest thing I ever saw. Chrissy Snow. Jesus Christ. Hot. And let me tell you, Three’s Company, that was a real comedy. Classy.

Suzanne Somers: Thank you.

Doug Ford: So, you write poetry in your spare time?

Suzanne Somers: I’ve always felt the need to express myself creatively.

Doug Ford: I like to box. Sometimes shot put. Okay, my producer wants me to read one of your poems. It’s from a collection called Touch Me: The poems of Suzanne Somers. I bet you have a lot of takers when people hear you say, “touch me,” eh? Right for the boobs.

Suzanne Somers: I mean it spiritually, not physically.

Doug Ford: Yeah, whatever. So it’s called “Organic Girl,” and it goes like this:

Organic girl dropped by last night

For nothing in particular

Except to tell me again how beautiful and serene she feels

On uncooked vegetables and wheat germ fortified by bean sprouts

Mixed with yeast and egg whites on really big days

She not only meditates regularly, but looks at me like I should

And lectures me about meat and ice cream

And other aggressive foods I shouldn’t eat.

Nice. Okay, I got a two-parter for you. So, what’s the theme of this poem and you ever have any work done? You still look pretty good.

Doug Ford interviews Tanya Tagaq (award winning throat singer)

Doug Ford: Sorry, I had a real hard time there with your last name. If you’re in show business you might want to change it so that it’s easier to say and remember. Just smart business.

Tanya Tagaq: I like my name as it is, thank you.

Doug Ford: (Stares at her, a burning silence for 20 seconds.) Are you saying you don’t care about business?

Tanya Tagaq: No, I’m saying I care about my name.

Doug Ford: You’re First Nations, right? Am I right? Yeah, look, don’t you think if maybe you guys were better at business you wouldn’t have signed all those treaties where you gave up prime real estate for bracelets and you wouldn’t always be asking tax payers for hand-outs? So maybe business is important, okay? You get it? (Aggressively bangs question cues cards on table) Alright, so what the hell is throat singing anyway?

This is a collection of her Tweets from the last week:

Hate is not the first enemy of love. Fear is. It destroys your ability to trust.

If you want to feel good, you have to go out and do some good.

Whatever has happened to you in your past has no power over this present moment, because life is now.

Just saw Skyfall and I’d really like to get slippery with Daniel Craig. Really, really slippery.

What you really want is to be surrounded by people you trust & treasure & by people who cherish you. That’s when you’re really rich.

Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads & empty hearts can do that. -Norman Peale

Sick of all the Jews in Hollywood.

I don’t hate them, I’m not anti-Semitic, just really, really sick of them right now.

Happiness will come to you when it comes from you. Success will be yours when you choose to take responsibility for making it so.

Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, & soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer.

Got to call somebody about the birds. Their constant cawing from the backyard is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

Hate birds.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen. -Michael Jordan

Very high right now.

Great spirits have always faced violent opposition from mediocre minds. -Einstein

Successful people know the difference between patience & procrastination.

Bitch-faced birds now on my very last nerve.

I haven’t loved Stedman in a very long time and have had a steady stream of lovers.

Would definitely fuck Obama if I had the chance. Michelle, too.

Every time U suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play U small, U are ignoring the owner’s manual your creator gave u.

Missing the NHL.

I believe that every single event in life happens is an opportunity to choose love over fear.

Fucked Sylvester Stallone once. VERY disappointing.

I was once afraid of people saying “who does she think she is?” Now I have the courage to stand & say, “THIS IS WHO I AM.”

I really, really hate my life and I think several of my maids are stealing from me.

I’m going to go kill me some birds.