Recently, he’s gone so far as to start referring to the man as Saint Donald, and as absurd and even ironic as this strikes the vast majority of the populace, people have been reporting miracles involving Donald Trump for quite some time:
A golfer who lives in Anaheim claims to have seen an apparition of Donald Trump floating above the 13th green at the prestigious Trump National Golf Club. Normally, the golfer would have laid up and played for a par, but the Trump apparition seemed to be telling him to go for it, and so he did, holing the 260 yard shot for an eagle. “It was a damn miracle,” Chip Anger said, “I’d never done anything like that in my life.”
It was reported the Donald Trump came upon a Miss Universe contestant taking a bath and that she tried to entice him to bathe with her.
However, she was not Donald’s type, as he does not like small breasts, and so he refused, but not wanting to leave the young woman devastated, he turned her bath water into Trump Super Premium Vodka.
An evil and disgruntled contestant on The Apprentice had been making designs to assassinate Donald Trump, as she was certain she was to be the next who was to be fired. While in the boardroom she poured some poison into his glass of Trump brand water, and sure enough, just as Donald uttered the words, “Ereka, you’re fired!” his glass of water spontaneously shattered.
A man’s wife would not have sex with him. She would not even stimulate his genitals with her hand, and was planning on leaving him, so this man asked Trump for some advice on how to bring back her love. And Trump blessed a Trump brand steak for him, and said: “Serve your woman this steak, and after she has eaten of the Trump brand steak and tidied up, her lust for you will be huge.” And after the man had done that, his wife gave him great love, and it remained that she could not be far from him and was always eager to please him.
One day while some of his luxury condo dwellers were busy enjoying their opulent homes of burnished marble and luxurious platinum, all the power went out. When Donald Trump was told of this problem, flames, like flashes from a flint when struck, leapt from his tiny, vulgar fingers and all electricity was immediately restored.
Donald J Trump 39 m
Our nation is a once great nation divided.
Donald J Trump 43 m
Our country is now in serious and unprecedented trouble…like never before.
Donald J Trump 49m
Our country is a total sham and travesty. We are not a democracy!
Donald J Trump 51m
More votes equals a loss…revolution!
Donald J Trump 51m
Let’s fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.
Donald J Trump 53m
We can’t let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided
Donald J Trump 54 m
The phony electoral college made a laughing stock out of our nation. The loser one!
Donald J Trump 1 hr
He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country!
Donald J Trump 1hr 2 m
I can’t stop crying. America died.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 9m
I make the best luxury golf resorts in the world. Quality. 10% off for Revolutionaries.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 21m
Don’t miss the Trump Universe Pageant in Atlantic City 2013. We will rebuild with sexy ladies!
Donald J Trump 1 hr 23m
I offer 5 million dollars to the first patriot that maims our imposter president or lures him into sex tape situation.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 23 m
Patriot also gets a Lexus, quality vehicle with power windows. Gold.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 37m
Hate his imposter president’s monkey ears! Streets must flow with blood!
Donald J Trump 1 hr 39m
It will be AIDs blood, so wear rain boots!
Donald J Trump 1 hr 41m
Out of vodka and bored of my hookers.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 42m
Burning cigarette into woman’s flesh less energizing than would have thought.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 48m
She a good screamer, though, I’ll give her that.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 51m
Takes a lot of moxie to get on the Apprentice.
Donald J Trump 1 hr 52m
Moving to Dubai. Fuck America in the face. America, you’re fucking fired!
Donald J Trump 2hr 2m
Condos starting from just $1,699,000. Be amongst the first to live in most prestigious location in all of NYC!
Donald J Trump 2 hr 7 m
Thanks a lot Christians for not showing up to vote. You disgust me.
Donald J Trump 2 hr 18m
Can’t believe we have a Korean President! They eat dogs!!
Donald J Trump 2 hr 24m
Building a quality bomb. Trump quality. Will get the job done.
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