She was young and pretty, a student studying to become a dietician, and her youth, cast amidst the somewhat resigned and much older counterculture of porters, seemed to make everybody a little giddy. Her innocence and simple optimism was a narcotic, and all the men stood a little straighter and attempted to make charming remarks around her. She cheerfully pushed me about in my wheelchair as if it was some high school game and not life on the slippery slope, and it made me want to be outside, in the sun of some past, leaning back and resting my head against her and the limitless smell of her hair… but no, no– there is much work to do.

We pass so many people in the hospital corridors. The always smiling Happy Cancer Ladies, who’ve either discovered their bliss through illness or are frozen in panic, unable to move their focus from the positive for one second lest they shatter into a million pieces. Gratitude radiates from them, and they smile at me as if I’m a precocious child, making gentle, almost holy room for my slender passage. And then suddenly, I was part of a long procession of wheelchairs passing by—bald and pale cancer patients, a girl burned with acid from an honour attack and an elderly man with skin so thin you could almost see into his past. The Happy Cancer Ladies stand aside and beam, practically applauding, they’re so sincerely proud of us.

Men who wear brown coveralls run the elevators. All day they live in these boxes, these boxes that open and close like respiration. They sit there, flipping through the Toronto Sun and wondering what else the world might have to offer them, and when the new porter wheels me in, something happens. It’s like everybody has had three drinks and is now wearing their favourite shirt. Conversation pipes up, and everybody is talking and laughing and flirting, dispensing wisdom and jokes about the myriad complications of negotiating the underground tunnels.

“I was her mission, “ I say, “I am the treasure she has returned with.”

The young girl laughed because that is what she does, but the elevator man seemed intrigued, “You are a treasure?” “Yes,” I said mystically, “I can grant you a wish. You tell me what you want and I will make sure you get it.” I expected a joke, but I could see in his face that he would not let this happen. He looked at me, stating plainly, “I want my mother to be here with me.”

I put my hand on his forearm, ” You have to close your eyes and imagine her, thinking of the best, safest times you spent together, and through this you will summon her, and you will feel her touch upon your skin, her scent returning…”

It cast a little spell, this, and the girl made the sound of a small animal that wanted to be hugged, while the man stared off at a distant horizon. As I was being wheeled out, the elevator man wanted to tell me something, a message from a song by King Crimson that his language inhibited him from pronouncing, and as he leaned toward me trying to spell the title out, the doors closed, the potential of this information lingering between us for a moment, and then falling away.

Otter Jan 20- Feb 18

Otters are typically very strange, many ultimately suffering from some form of mental illness. Left to their own devices they usually become unscrupulous and disease prone.

Wolf Feb 19- Mar 20

The Wolf is good with weapons.

Falcon Mar 21- Apr 19

The Falcon is a decisive, natural born leader, although they typically hate other people. The Falcon can often be a little bit conceited, but as their judgment is often very good, a little bit of arrogance is understandable. Falcons must be wary of gluten.

Beaver Apr 20-May 20

Mostly business, the Beaver gets the job at hand done with maximum efficiency and aplomb. Practical and unsentimental, the Beaver has a terrible sense of direction and will often get lost, thus making for very poor scouts.

Deer May 21- June 20

The Deer is the quick-witted joker of the zodiac. The Deer is also known for it’s wonderful voice, one that’s capable of mesmerizing people with song or creating perfect imitations of all manner of wildlife. Both Prince and Curtis Mayfield are Deers.

Woodpecker Jun 21-Jul 20

Woodpeckers are extremely irritating and often shunned. Notorious gossips, they’re known for spreading discord throughout the community and are often assigned the most dangerous tasks facing the tribe, like tasting suspicious meat or vegetation. Very stingy and lacking in generosity, there has never been a Woodpecker chief.

Salmon Jul 21- Aug 21

Electric, unpredictable and wholly creative, the Salmon is a true live wire. Many Salmons gravitate toward story telling or work as shamans. Generous, intelligent and empathetic, the Salmon never has a shortage of friends. Lucky number is 6.

Bear Aug 22- Sep 21

Pragmatic and methodical, the Bear is the one to call when a steady hand is needed. However, the Bear will always be lazy, prone to obsessive masturbation and very easy to manipulate. Few Bears live beyond the age of 40.

Raven Sep 22- Oct 22

Ravens, noted for their great physical beauty are demanding, inconsistent, vindictive and abrasive. Favourite food: maize.

Snake Oct 23- Nov 22

The Snake is a natural in all matters of the spirit. This preoccupation with the ethereal plain often leads other to view them as mysterious and sometimes frightening, but the truth is that they are often funny, inspiring and helpful, although prone to abnormal mood swings and chest infections.

Owl Nov 23- Dec 21

As changeable as the wind, the Owl is a tough one to pin down. A vicious temper keeps most people at a distance, but when properly nurtured and supported, the Owl can often become an adept cook, excelling particularly with soups.

Goose Dec 22- Jan 19

Persevering, dogged and ambitious to a fault, the Goose always achieves their goals. Indifferent to the approval of others, the Goose is determined to succeed at all costs. Those born to this animal sign make for excellent assassins.