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Heidi hear about Red Hen restaurant. Two-legged owner make two-legger she think BAD DOG leave before dinner!

If some two-legger tell Heidi she have to leave when Heidi about to eat, things gonna get heavy.

Heidi not moving.

Heidi fuck a bitch up.

Heidi well regulated militia.

Heidi shock and awe campaign.

Heidi is Hound of War.

And when Heidi need to eat, Heidi eat.

Heidi eat Red Hen.

Heidi eat Blue Hen.

Heidi eat Yellow Hen.

Heidi eat Fascist Hen.

Heidi eat Progressive Hen.

Heidi eat Space Force Hen.

Heidi don’t care. Heidi eat all the hens. Heidi don’t care politics of hen. Heidi don’t care colour of hen. Heidi don’t care who hen sex with or where hen live. Not important to Heidi if hen or egg come first. Heidi eat both.

Heidi appetite is the law.

It the Alpha and Omega, the First and Last, the Beginning and the End.

That all Heidi saying.

the White House Press Secretary to President Donald Trump, was refused service at the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia based on “moral grounds.” The owner, Stephanie Wilkinson, simply did not want to serve somebody she found so politically offensive, and so she didn’t.

Since then the Red Hen restaurant in Washington, DC, which has no affiliation with the one in Lexington, has been getting attacked by both left and right on social media.

Keep in mind, this is not the restaurant that refused Sanders service. No matter, even after they explicitly stated that this was all a case of mistaken identity and they had nothing to do with the Huckabee Affair, people still demanded that they take a political position on the matter. The Red Hen responded by saying that businesses in DC are prohibited from discriminating against people for political affiliation because they are in a federal district. This wasn’t good enough. People still pressed them. Okay, we know you’re not the restaurant that was involved, and we know that you are subject to different laws and therefore don’t have a choice to make in the matter, but what if you did have a choice? What if you were the restaurant she walked in to? What would you do then?

And so it goes.

And now Donald Trump is tweeting furiously at the Red Hen in Virginia ( the right one) in the hopes of destroying their business.

The owner, likely seeing in herself a patriotic exemplar, stands by her act of micro resistance while the pitchfork and torch crowd– from both the left and right–gather, eager to burn some shit down.

So surreal and terrible and hilarious and scary.

It’s amazing to me just how quickly things are reduced to the symbolic. All the nuance, history, vulnerability and complexity that informs a person– or a restaurant, even–are swept to the side, reduced to little more than the baleful projections of a furious, roiling,  unconscious. The appetite right now is for enemies rather than friends, so if you’re caught in the public eye you become what that public needs you to be, not who you might actually be.

And so when I see Sarah Huckabee Sanders tossed about in the media, I think of Monica Lewinsky.

They really look alike.

 .      

I mean, they really do.

But beyond that, remember also how Monica Lewinsky was treated by the press and public? She was despised– crucified, by both the left and right, for the sins of Bill Clinton. Honest to God, I think it’s a miracle she didn’t jump out a window. But she survived, admirably, in fact, and it’s as if her ghost is now visible in “the perfect smokey eye” of Sarah Huckabee, and the antipathy that Lewinsky withstood is now being visited upon her. Both of them appear as privileged white girls, Beckys, really, and their ambition, greased by a system that favours people like them, propelled them right next to the most powerful man in the world, and this, this seems to be something our society simply cannot abide.

Ask Hillary Clinton.

And so these women rise up into the culture like cautionary tales. Reduced to cartoon figures, they float slowly above us, soft targets, while we, the rabble beneath cast stones and curses. If you’re a woman and your cultural centrality can in any way be traced back to a powerful man, you will be hated for it– by men, and by women, it would seem. This is America, and if you’re a woman and you fly too close to the sun, you’re declared a witch and you’re going to get burned, whether you deserve it or not.

Donald Trump is the living embodiment of a cliffhanger.

I swear, everything the man does compels us to astonishment. And once this happens he has us trapped– as the complicit media knows all too well. Almost obediently, we’ll sit there in anxious anticipation, eagerly awaiting his next act as if it were an episode of Breaking Bad. Trump, always the catalytic agent, exists to propel narratives forward. Where that story came from or where it might be headed is entirely immaterial, all that matters is that in that moment you cared, and the more passionately you cared, the better for him.

Since his election my media streams have been rivers of fire. All day long people have been screaming at one another and making the boldest declarations. It reminds me of the Olympics, actually. Some sport I will have never heard of might pop up, and after a brief, mechanical explanation of what it is and a few minutes of watching, I’ll feel like an expert.

And so it goes with politics. We may not speak the language, we may not have visited the country, we may not have any friends who are native to the place, but in very short order, we still have really, really strong opinions about what should happen to it.

Whenever I find myself assuming this role and asserting some far too sure political view, I remind myself that I have trouble keeping my own house in order. What’s my economic plan for the USA? Hell, what’s my economic plan for my family!

The world is infinitely complex, and our ability to understand it is miniscule. Our chances of being wrong about something are far greater than our chances of being right, and it’s important we keep this in mind, particularly when judging those we disagree with. I mean, if you’re awake enough to understand that not all Muslims are terrorists, then you should be awake enough to understand that not all of your political opponents are racist morons.

One’s politics are a very poorly articulated version of the sort of person one might be in the world. Typically it says more about how we’d like to be seen, than how we actually conduct ourselves. And it is just so hard to live a pure life in this society, we must always keep in mind that it is upon monstrous deeds that most of us have happily, blindly, built our lives.

The furious, pre-apocalyptic tensions defining the USA right now are typically lumped into two categories. There are the coastal city-states that house the progressives and elites, and then there is the rest of America, a kind of seething, primitive horde—think Orcs.

I try to look at it more like the future pitted agains the past.

Every year our world changes more than it has in all the generations stacked before it. A lot of people are disoriented and terrified by the velocity at which their lives are now moving, while others are grateful that time has finally caught up with them. And when one traditional way of life is subsumed by another, there is usually a violent reaction, and I think that’s what we’re seeing– the past trying to claw the future back in place, and a resentful and protective future stomping back.

So be kind if you can, for everybody is feeling like they’re hanging off the edge of a cliff.

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Fantastic turnout here.

Just light’s out.

You’re a great, great crowd, a very smart crowd, and I want to thank you all for coming out in such huge numbers to hear me speak. What’s that? Wow. My people are telling me that there are thousands more waiting outside. In the rain. Terrifying lightning flying around, too, and the sort of giant thunder that scares dogs. These people don’t care. No, they’re happy to risk their lives. They just want to be close to greatness and pay their respects. Real Americans, those people. I love them just as much as they love me. Well, maybe just a little bit less– let’s be honest– but still, I give them huge, huge amounts of love.

Of course, the media will make up lies about this turnout, just like they did at the inauguration.

So dishonest.
No conscience at all.
Lazy perverts.

They’d even stoop to blacken the memory of Mary Tyler Moore just to push their liberal agenda. Makes me want to throw-up.

But you know who doesn’t want to make me throw-up?

Mary Tyler Moore.

So beautiful.
So classy.
Such manners.
A real tribute to her race.
A true 9 out of 10.

It’s hard to believe she was taken before Crooked Hillary. Crooked Hillary who is so sick and weak and has those big bug eyes that always make it look like her head is going to explode. And those coughing fits? Awful. Why couldn’t death just take her? Yesterday’s news. She’ll probably be the next to go anyway. .. And then Bill. Both in such poor, poor health. Sad. Thankfully, I don’t have that problem. I am in excellent health. Best health of any President in the history of America.

It’s a fact.
Never had a drink in my life.
And no drugs either.

And let me tell you, it’s not like I didn’t have opportunity.

I had big time opportunity.

Mary, Mary liked to drink. It’s true. She struggled with it, but it didn’t matter because she really could turn the world on with her smile.

She really could.
Honestly.
No lie.

She could also do it with her ass.

Sweet Jesus, what a caboose!

You’re all probably wondering, did I?

A gentleman never tells, but let me just say that I bounced quarters off that ass. It should have been classified as a secret weapon because that ass could topple regimes. If I had sent Mary, the vintage Mary, young, like when she was doing the Dick Van Dyke Show,

into one of those pathetic, little airport protests, everyone would have seen her ass and just forgotten where they were. Seriously.

You couldn’t say the same for Rhoda.

Oy vey!

No, Mary was the real deal, the one and only.

Mary, and I can give her no higher compliment, was a real star– the Ivanka of her times– and America and her allies, will miss her.

The present regime is concerned that this is not reflective of the sophisticated, even progressive nature of Iran, as well as being an obvious diplomatic hindrance. With that in mind, the government is considering some alternate slogans, a few of which appear below:

1. AMERICA, WE ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR OBESITY!!
2. AMERICA, YOU ARE BEING UNKIND!!
3. AMERICA, WE DO NOT HATE THE JEWS!!
4. AMERICA, THE TWERKING, IT IS NOT DECENT!!
5. AMERICA, WE HAVE NEVER INVADED ANOTHER COUNTRY!!
6. AMERICA, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT FOOTBALL IS!!
7. AMERICA, ARE YOU HAPPY?! WE WORRY!!
8. AMERICA, PLEASE HEAR OUR POEM!!
9. AMERICA, THIS IS QUITE SERIOUS
10. AMERICA, WHEN WILL YOU BE ANGELIC?!

Donald J Trump     39 m

Our nation is a once great nation divided.

Donald J Trump     43 m

Our country is now in serious and unprecedented trouble…like never before.

Donald J Trump       49m

Our country is a total sham and travesty. We are not a democracy!

Donald J Trump        51m

More votes equals a loss…revolution!

Donald J Trump        51m

Let’s fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.

Donald J Trump       53m

We can’t let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided

Donald J Trump        54 m

The phony electoral college made a laughing stock out of our nation. The loser one!

Donald J Trump        1 hr

He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country!

Donald J Trump         1hr 2 m

I can’t stop crying. America died.

Donald J Trump          1 hr 9m

I make the best luxury golf resorts in the world. Quality. 10% off for Revolutionaries.

Donald J Trump         1 hr 21m

Don’t miss the Trump Universe Pageant in Atlantic City 2013. We will rebuild with sexy ladies!

Donald J Trump     1 hr 23m

I offer 5 million dollars to the first patriot that maims our imposter president or lures him into sex tape situation.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 23 m

Patriot also gets a Lexus, quality vehicle with power windows. Gold.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 37m

Hate his imposter president’s monkey ears! Streets must flow with blood!

Donald J Trump 1 hr 39m

It will be AIDs blood, so wear rain boots!

Donald J Trump 1 hr 41m

Out of vodka and bored of my hookers.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 42m

Burning cigarette into woman’s flesh less energizing than would have thought.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 48m

She a good screamer, though, I’ll give her that.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 51m

Takes a lot of moxie to get on the Apprentice.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 52m

Moving to Dubai. Fuck America in the face. America, you’re fucking fired!

Donald J Trump 2hr 2m

Condos starting from just $1,699,000. Be amongst the first to live in most prestigious location in all of NYC!

Donald J Trump 2 hr 7 m

Thanks a lot Christians for not showing up to vote. You disgust me.

Donald J Trump 2 hr 18m

Can’t believe we have a Korean President! They eat dogs!!

Donald J Trump 2 hr 24m

Building a quality bomb. Trump quality. Will get the job done.