And as most of you also know, Donald Trump is an absolute master of Twitter, (@realDonaldTrump) a medium which is quickly becoming the primary means of disseminating thought and information. In case you’ve forgotten, here are some of Trump’s most penetrating, brilliant and revealing Tweets:
“If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country—I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses!”
“Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.”
(That is not Robert Pattinson in the above photographs)
“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”
“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
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Ever the iconoclast, Trump has decided to participate in the Presidential debate via Twitter, limiting his answers to a blunt 140 characters. These are some of the Tweets that Trump and his team have been preparing for the night:
On the Charleston shooting:
“Tragedy. National tragedy. As an olive branch from the whites, I am offering any black $100 worth of gambling chips, free, at any of my casinos on the anniversary of that church shooting.”
“Mixed race guests get $50 worth of chips, which is still a great deal.”
Gay Marriage:
“Know lots of gay people. Best decorators in the world. They’re responsible for making my hotels look so great. Terrific race.”
“A couple of them have won Celebrity Apprentice, so I’m obviously not a bigot, even though I am big time Hetero.”
“I’ve slept with a lot of beautiful women.”
Health Care:
“Obamacare is a heat-seeking missile that will rape and destroy small businesses and jobs.”
“Hillary is a socialist, she doesn’t understand business, so I’m telling her once you rape small business, there are consequences, you can’t just go and get an abortion.”
“I would set up a different, much better, more luxurious system than we have now. It would have the Trump stamp of quality.”
ISIS:
“These guys just opened a hotel, can you believe it? Not only have they declared war on America, but now they’re going to war against me.”
“If I can make billions of dollars and build quality golf courses and real estate, I can destroy ISIS.”
“Donald Trump has never lost a war.”
“ISIS, what a bunch of chumps.”
The Mexican Border:
“I’m going to build a wall to keep Mexicans in Mexico, and you know it will be a solid, quality wall because it will be made by Trump builders. ”
“You know that wall in Game of Thrones? It will put that to shame, it will put China to shame, it will be the wall to end all walls, like the Trump Taj Mahal Casino in…”
“….exciting and beautiful Atlantic City. My fantastic casino has an exotic Indian theme–7-11 Indian though, not casino Indian.”
“No Mexicans will ever get through my wall to steal American jobs and water.”
“Is Salma Hayek Mexican? Classy lady. Beautiful, unlike most Mexican women who tend to be plain–they just don’t look after themselves as a people.”
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Finally have the night to myself to work on my novel. The window’s open, I’m drinking Jack and Coke and the KKKat is purring on my lap. #LifeIsGoodButForTheBlacksRuiningAmerica
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Kolby, a sensitive, young White Supremacist and gifted tattoo artist is the main character.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Lost vision in his left eye due to a hunting accident and wears an eye patch. Some say this is when he got “the gift.”
@KuKluxKlanUSA: He goes into a trance whenever he’s inking, and the tattoo he creates foretells the future of the person who gets it. It dooms them to their fate!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Working title: White Tattoo Prophet.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Minorities are ruining America!!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Taco Tuesday’s at Pigglys!! $2 each!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Ate 19 of ‘em. No one else even close. #WhitePride!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Stained my hood a bit, but it was worth it.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Hood is very hot, especially when engaged in competitive eating.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Will take it up at next meeting, as I know I’m not alone in this observation.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Aryan Brotherhood will do anything to KKKeep America pure!!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Not afraid to stain our hoods for the cause! #AmeriKKAForever!!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Are you sure tacos are Mexican????
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Thought for sure they were American.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Really? Kind of like Mexican pizza pockets, I guess.
@KukluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA Well, shoot.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Illegal, lazy, dope dealing Mexicans trying to take over America with their sneaky and delicious food. FIGHT BACK AMERIKKKA!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Salma Hayek would make a good sex slave. #SubjugateTheirWomen!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA My cousin was a sex slave for two years. Said it wasn’t so bad.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: Said the food was pretty good and she had cable.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: No, I’m still single.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: Tried a few dating sites but nothing worked. Considering Tinder.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: “Looking for sweet girl who’s also not afraid to die for the cause!!” This is my profile pic.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: @KlansvilleVA: Yeah, thanks bud, I’m sure it’ll work out, too!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: The White Brotherhood will never die!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: I really do hate the black race, but I have to say, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson is one impressive man.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Kind of wish he was white and had an incoherent rage against all minorities. That would be cool.
@KuKluxKlanUSA: I mean, if he just applied his intellect to hate and violence instead of astrophysics, he could really make something of himself, you know?
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Also wish Will Smith was white! What an actor!!
@KuKluxKlanUSA: And Denzel. Denzel rules. (That stare. OMG!)
@KuKluxKlanUSA: Babe (White!) of the week:
@KuKluxKlanUSA: KKKristmas is coming up soon! Don’t forget to pick up your Ladies of the KKK Kalendar! All proceeds go to hate.
