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1. America, founded on the principle of freedom to worship, has always been a post-truth, multiple-reality landscape.
2. Trump did not usher in this new era of darkness but simply illuminated it.
3. America has always been full of contradicting beliefs, none of which are rooted in facts.
4. We don’t make decision based on facts, and are in no way demonstrably rational in our actions.
5. We have always been starring in our movies, but with each individual taking orders from a different director whose a plan and reality unconnected to our own.
6. For instance, some people think the a woman’s body is so dangerous it must be shrouded in public.
7. Others that their Lord would be angry if they were so vain as to wear a button.
8. Still, more people believed that you wouldn’t get into heaven unless you are wearing a pair of Nike Decades.
9. One religion’s followers wear special underwear, carrying with them a certainty that their heavenly reward will be to live on planet Kolob making “spirit babies.”
10. Atheists, who have not been around very long cosmologically speaking, believe they’ve understood enough of the limitless universe and its timeless expanse, as to proclaim that no higher power exists.
11. These are not fringe groups.
12. Each one of these commitments is rock solid and unshakable, a central post in that person’s life. Yet none of them are based in any way on “facts.”
13. We were founded in a post-truth era.
14. Since Trump’s election, people have been talking about “fake news” and the difference between “good” and “bad” news.
15. The irony is that the media has always been a part of the economy.
16. It is a commodity that we buy, like popcorn.
17. As long as media serves a corporate entity, it does not serve the people.
18. And the less reliable media, the media that doesn’t have a paywall or registration, is a quicker more appealing option.
19. Getting news is not the problem, there are limitless options, sifting it is.
20. This means it’s easier for the wealthy/elites, who have more time and can pay for services, to be more rigorously informed than the rest of the people.
21. This further divides the inequality that is starting to define the nation.
22. We are ridiculous and we know nothing.
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1. The Dakota Access Pipeline was halted.
2. I was happy to hear this, although the truth is I really don’t know very much about it.
3. In my mind, I was on the side of Tribal Elders and Water.
4. That was how I wanted to be identified.
5. Our politics signify how we want to be identified, our tribal affiliation, more than they represent our reasoned policy positions.
6. Few people break from the orthodoxy of their tribe.
7. There were more than 4,000 veterans at Standing Rock supporting the “Water Protectors”
8. And so the police had to face not just the moral authority of the protesters and native elders, but also thousands of vets, of people just like them.
9. There was a Go Fund Me page that raised over a million dollars for this group.
10. I have no idea if this group was instrumental in getting the pipeline halted, but they had to change the dynamic greatly.
11. I would suggest this become the future of civil disobedience.
12. Crowd source militia groups to protect you as you protest.
13. Be it in Standing Rock, Ferguson, Wall Street or elsewhere.
14. Make the arms of authority confront themselves when they confront you.
15. No nation churns out angry, marginalized veterans like the USA.
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It’s just not quality.
Melania is posing naked for a classy magazine.
I’m really happy about this because I want everybody to see what I have and they don’t, so I’m at the photo shoot making sure everything goes Trump perfect. I’m giving Melania instructions on how to pose, and as she’s doing exactly what I tell her to do, I try to Tweet a picture with the words,“Twice with this one last night!” but discover I can’t get into my Twitter account, @realDonaldTrump.
I am building a wall. It’s a great wall, a huge wall. It’s going to be the best wall ever. And then somebody, A Mexican, approaches me and tells me that there are scuff marks on some of the imported marble. A Mexican. What does a Mexican know about imported marble? Nothing. Enraged, I pummel him with the might of an angry white nation, and when I’m finished I’m covered in Mexican blood, which is just disgusting. I try to wash it off but can’t, and the more people I hire to wash it off, the thicker and stickier it seems to get.
I am in the penthouse of one of my many, many luxury apartments. I’m there to evict the deadbeat tenants by forcing them to jump off the balcony. One of them refuses. I wake up in a cold sweat.
I am waterboarding Ted Cruz’s wife because she won’t change her last name to something American.
In spite of her pain and terror and screaming and begging, and that her top was so wet it was completely see-thru, the experience was not nearly as sexually exciting as I had expected it to be. Woke up feeling empty, a sensation that trailed me all day long.
I am Captain of the Starship Enterprise.
I’ve rented out three decks as luxury condos, converted the Holodeck into a casino, crushed the Starfleet union and am running a real estate training program for my promising officers. Federation mismanagement had been costing the tax payers a fortune, but with me at the helm, the Starship Enterprise was making a fantastic profit and had never looked better. And then we’re doing a routine patrol of Quadrant 4 when a Klingon Bird of Prey suddenly materialized before us. As I was negotiating with their Captain, I noticed a stain on my uniform. Laundry had screwed up again!
In this dream I am a boy, lost and alone in the woods with no business plan.
]]>It’s been well over a week now since Ammon Bundy and his militia men took over the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge headquarters in Oregon.
As the harsh winter falls like ash around them, neither the Federal Government nor The Citizens for Constitutional Freedom have shown even a hint of quit.
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The Citizens for Constitutional Freedom Press Conference, January 14th, 2016
Ammon Bundy: Once again, our intelligence gathering services have had to bring us some very bad news.
On the heels of the death of our great teacher and brother, David Bowie, another true patriot and giant amongst men has been taken from us. Our comrade, Alan Rickman, star of stage and screen, has fallen.
Ryan Bundy: This is bullcrap, man!! Bullcrap!!
Ammon Bundy: Easy brother, easy.
Ryan Bundy: By the hammer of Grabthar, we shall be avenged!!
Ammon Bundy: Rickman died as he lived, with his boots on.
While carrying out an assault on a government facility in Northern California, Rickman was struck down by a hail of gunfire from CIA operatives posing as paramedics. It was a cowardly and treacherous act and….What? Well, where did you hear that? Really? Really? Did TMZ report that, too? Well, geez. Cancer, hunh? Do they think it was planted in his body by the government. Inconclusive, eh? Okay. Okay. Give me a moment. Just bear with me! This is a very stressful time, okay? Don’t forget, I’m fighting tyranny here, for you and your children, so just cut me some slack! I’m doing God’s will, not yours, okay!?
(Conference is interrupted for five minutes)
Ammon Bundy: Okay, thanks for your patience. Sometimes constitutional freedom take a little bit of time.
Our intelligence department has just confirmed that Alan Rickman died under very mysterious circumstances late last night. Naturally, many of my men– myself included–have been shaken to the core by this devastating news. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not my style, but there were more than a few tears shed last night. Three more of our men, devastated by grief, just like when Ziggy Stardust took his final bow, left the encampment and returned home this morning, and as always we wish them Godspeed.
Ryan Bundy: May our comrades ride as swiftly and surely to their families as Alan Rickman to Kate Winslet, in his portrayal of noble Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility!
Ammon Bundy: As always, we will continue the battle, to be the tip of the spear, just as Professor Severus Snape would have wanted. If he were here right now, he would cast a spell on the government and we would all be enjoying the land that is rightfully ours to profit from.
It is hard to imagine, but it was only a few short weeks ago that my family and I sat around enjoying Rickman’s brilliant work in that modern Christmas classic, Love Actually. Yeah, I can see more than a few smiles in the press gallery, there. Rickman spoke to us all, even godless, liberal media, and he had the truly unique ability to tap into the soul of the white, middle-aged man and speak directly to us.
Ryan Bundy: Lord, I related, I related so hard, for who amongst our clan hasn’t made the mistake of giving our wives a Joni Mitchell CD for Christmas!?
Ammon Bundy: Hallelujah, brother, don’t I know it!
Alan Rickman told the difficult truths. His portrayal of complex antagonists is what made me want to get into the business of fighting for the Constitution and taking over government buildings. I had always hoped to find an adversary as strong and charismatic as Rickman– a Hans Gruber to my John McClane.
We will miss him truly, madly and deeply. May a flight of angels carry you home, brave soldier.
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Celebrities, politicians and common folks jumped on the bandwagon, many wearing blue bracelets in support of the cause, and a little bit of over-sharing might have taken place, but still, a bunch of money and awareness was raised. The success of this venture has led Rogers, Bell’s rival, to do something very similar. On January 31st, Roger’s launched their Everybody Poops campaign, where for every tweet or text that included the hashtag RogersEverybodyPoops, six cents would be donated to gastrointestinal health initiative across the country.
These are some of the tweets that went out on that day:
Clint Eastwood
Go ahead, make my day and RT #RogersEverybodyPoops
Anonymous
Bowel movements are nothing to be ashamed of!! Please RT #RogersEverybodyPoops
Sarah Polley
Life’s no picnic when every bowel movement feels like an emergency. Please help by retweeting #RogersEverybodyPoops
Anonymous
We need to end the stigma that prevents people from talking openly about their bowel movements! Fight silence!! #RogersEverybodyPoops
William Shatner
I had a rectal polyp the size of a walnut and the pain was unreal. #RogersEverybodyPoops
Anonymous
Fart jokes are not funny!! They are a form of BULLYING! Please RT #RogersEverybodyPoops
Justin Trudeau
What would Justin do? Justin would bring attention to the gastrointestinal health of Canadians. Let’s knock out Colon Cancer! #RogersEverybodyPoops
Anonymous
I didn’t fart in front of my boyfriend for three years. Why?? The silence and shame must stop! #RogersEverybodyPoops
Anonymous
Because of my IBS I have to use public washrooms all the time and it is unsafe #RogersEverybodyPoops
Dion Phaneuf
Nobody likes to leave a floater in the toilet. #RogersEverybodyPoops
Anonymous
My stool is very unpredictable and always smells horrible. It’s time for pooping to come out of the closet! #RogersEverybodyPoops
Rob Ford
Nothing feels as awesome as a good dump, so let’s give all Canadians, not just the elites, that opportunity. #RogersEverydodyPoops
Anonymous
The runs aren’t just something that happens to your stockings. We need to talk about this! #RogersEverybodyPoops
Pamela Anderson
Nothing is a bigger turn off than blood or mucus in your stool. Let’s get our shit together! #RogersEverybodyPoops
The future in which the Spike Jonze directed movie is set is suggested rather than primary visual architecture. It’s familiar but slightly dislocating, men wear High-Waisted pants, such as you might see in the Civil War, the technology is just a little smaller and swifter, and the city in which the film takes place drifts back and forth between a smoggy LA and a smoggy Shanghai.
Saturated in lyrical oranges and ambers, a dreamy, narcotic ambience presides, as if one of remembrance rather than projection, if that makes any sense. Even in the heavy, coarse fabrics of the clothes people wear, or in the forest imagery existing as backdrop in an elevator, you can feel a yearning for something authentic amidst the increasingly spacious and abstract world of technology.
Joaquin Phoenix, sporting the melancholy moustache of another, somehow European era, falls in love with an operating system played by the voice of Scarlett Johansson. He’s probably in every scene in the movie and he’s simply terrific. Gentle, nuanced and empathetic, his performance is the very opposite of the kind of grand scale acting we’ve come to expect from the likes of Christian Bale, and this dose of humble realism is immensely appealing.
The entire movie was appealing, actually, and it felt like relaxing into the lives of friends who were easy to be around. It was intimate but not needy, and it evoked our shared feelings of falling in love, of tumbling into one another and living in those times when everything is golden and funny and precious and even the colour of your partner’s sweater spoke to a greater truth. This was accomplished deftly, in small, perfect ways, and in spite of it being an abstracted, artificial relationship, it was still the most familiar and convincing depiction of love that I’d seen in years, including, of course, the awkward, tender and melancholic drift apart.
Sweet, charming and a little bit sad, it was a fun film to be a part of and it stayed with us, remaining a companionable presence, like an absent friend, as we shared drinks across the street—each one of our minds drifting off to a different point in time, and then happily returning to our present company.
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