These are a collection of Taliban Tweets:
The Taliban cannot tolerate biased media.
Too long have we been mocked and misunderstood.#Unclesamisunclean
8 puppets killed, 3 vehicles destroyed in Langham battle: bit.ly/XnJr2m
Victory! A Mujhadeed has seized a motorbike from the unholy invaders!
Invader General Petraeus should be shot by relatives from his mistress’s family or stoned to death.
Mondays always make me feel blue, and this cold is not helping. Sinuses clogged.
@Puppetobama what sort of man would kiss another?! It is unholy!
I do not like the rain. May it rain on America for an eternity!
An invading infidel walks into a market and asks for nuts and the patriot vendor says, “ We have no nuts, puppet!!”
The Taliban has enduring patience and long-term Jihadist strategies against the malicious plots of the enemy!
Mortars hit infidel invader camps. The Blood of our enemies flows: bit.lu?MoYr6h
I fear that one of my wives has fallen out of love with me. We used to laugh together so much, but now, never.
The Taliban will not abandon the struggle for freedom and will not pardon you until the withdrawal of your last soldier. #Unclesamisunclean
RT: America you are a Big Mac! Fat and greasy!
Taliban fun fact: The Pathans are notorious for family feuds, often the result of disputes over zar, zan or zamin – gold, women or land.
@anglinajolie You are a whore.
A woman is like having a flower. You water it and keep it at home for yourself to look at and smell. It is not supposed to be taken out of the house to be smelled. #truth
Landmines eliminate 2 US-nato tanks in Khan-e-Sheen district: bit.ly/SFi7oA
2 puppets of special-forces killed in bomb attack.
RT The Lakers have contacted Phil Jackson. He’s reportedly interested in the job. #WeWantPhil bit.ly/SWgLK8
@Amir Please feel free to DM me—bored at work.
Taliban shout-out to Aarif who proudly declared that he had killed seven male members of a Mahsud family for having insulted his wife, and so far only his brother had been killed in the revenge!
I wish Taylor Swift were one of my wives. I would cover her in the finest raiments and play for her the rubab.
To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, I present a couple of Tweets coming out of the Old Spice marketing factory:
“Why would anyone complain about it being so hot out you can cook bacon on the hood of your car? Seems like a good thing to me.”
“With Old Spice Danger Zone you’ll smell like volcano powered motorcycles and ninja punching.”
“Velociraptor training is one of those things that’s best left to the experts.”
You get the picture.
A recent Tweet by Old Spice read:
“Why is it that “fire sauce” isn’t made with any real fire? Seems like false advertizing.”
Unexpectedly, they go this response from Taco Bell that started up a great Corporate Twitter War.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Is your deodorant made with really old spices?
Old Spice
@TacoBell You should be giving out Old Spice Danger Zone with each one of your manky burritos. Those things smell like some sweaty disease.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Why do you collaborate with the Taliban? Doesn’t America mean anything to you?
Old Spice
@TacoBell If you were an Olympic Event you would be diarrhea.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice You’re soap on a dope.
Old Spice
@TacoBell Is it true you slaughter all your meat by crossbow?
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Aluminum Chloride, an agent commonly found in deodorants, causes breast cancer.
Old Spice
@TacoBell Your face causes breast cancer.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Girls hate you because you smell bad, no amount of compensating will ever make up for that.
OldSpice
@TacoBell Only 36% of your “Taco Beef Filling” is actually beef. What makes up the other 64%? My guess is AIDS.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Old, rotten, cancer-causing Spice is owned by Mormons who wear funny underwear. Also, girls hate your tiny, taco beef filling.
Old Spice
@TacoBell I think I could punch you in the face now.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice You mean flail about girlishly with your eyes closed, don’t you?
Old Spice
@TacoBell No, I mean punch you in the face with a jagged brick and then watch you bleed “Taco Beef Filling” through your hair net.
Taco Bell
@ OldSpice Are you getting turned on?
Old Spice
@TacoBell Yes.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Let’s merge, let’s merge now!!
Old Spice
@TacoBell Turn off the web cam!! I mean, turn it on, turn it on!!
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