Text Messages
These are the text messages I received from my wife Rachelle the other day:
Posts tagged ‘Tom Hardy’
Jan 17
1 Comment
Golden Globes
I was a teenager in the 1980’s Read more
Bitter Writer
Dear Bitter Writer: Read more
Lingerie Football League
The Lingerie Football League was created in 2009 and is now flourishing, boasting 12 teams spread across North America. One of the teams is located in Toronto and I happen to know somebody within the organization of this particular team and have been approached to help in branding the franchises by writing copy for the fragrances– named after the spirit of each team– that are to be launched in 2012.
I present to you my work-in-progress, and would be interested in all constructive feedback.
Seattle Mist:
This beguiling scent suggests a woman who is as mysterious and beautiful as the Pacific Northwest itself, and who has reported multiple Bigfoot sightings.
San Diego Seduction:
The woman who wears San Diego Seduction is confident and not afraid to go out and get what she wants, even if it involves a car chase!
Tampa Breeze:
A fine blend of coconut oil and fish, this bewitching fragrance marries the immediacy of the trailer park with the elegance of a Jet Ski.
Philadelphia Passion:
Imagine the energy and street edge of 1970-era Blaxploitation films transformed into a bewitching scent! It should be on the list of every lady on your Christmas list!
Toronto Triumph:
This redolence suggests “curvy, not heavy,” and has delicate traces of barn owl and cinnamon.
Chicago Bliss:
This sassy aroma makes it clear to everybody around that the rips in your jeans are intentional!
Green Bay Chill:
With just a tinge of freezer to serve as an accent, this classic scents asks, “Who wants to eat some cheese?”
Orlando Fantasy:
Like a scene airbrushed onto a van, this scent is unmistakable and vivid, a steady and powerful reminder that fortune favours the bold!
Los Angeles Temptation:
This complex blend is best suited to the sophisticated tastes of a woman who can confidently navigate her way through a world of back tattoos and spray-on tans. It’s a scent that says, “I’m here, look at me!”
Vegas Sin:
All the romance of Bloody Caesars, navel piercings and curry by the pool are distilled into this one intoxicating fragrance. Leave your man begging for more, wear Vegas Sin!
Minnesota Valkyrie:
The Valkyrie woman is playful by nature, enjoying a child-like snowball fight with her man, but make no mistake, she knows how to use a crossbow if her nation calls for it!
Baltimore Charm:
A statement fragrance, the wearer of Baltimore Charm is letting the world know that she is a Twilight fan and that she prefers Edward over Jacob.
