The site enables people to trade all manner of goods, absolutely anything you have lying around or might want to cook. If somebody likes what you posted, they send you a message and the bartering begins.
This was my first post:
Posted by Michael Murray
Toronto Division
Genuine Sialkot Pro Field Hockey Stick
Made in India, this vintage field hockey stick is a real gem! Nicknamed “Sally,” it was used by high school Goddess Victoria Reid during the season that saw her team, The Lisgar Lancers, win the Ottawa city championship in 1983. Victoria scored a record 36 goals with Sally!
The stick, which feels solid and sure in the hands, is also rumoured to have been used as a murder weapon. So if you’re looking for a little bit of security around the house and are still unsure of guns, this is what you’re looking for, as the stick’s hooked nature guarantees that irregular and jagged wounds would be cut into any invader. I hate to give up this wonderful piece of history, but my wife insists, believing it to be cursed. Ha, ha. Let me assure you, Sally is not cursed, just brutally effective, as many squirrels and at least one homeless man rooting through our garbage for empty wine bottles can attest. It is also important to note that Sally never has conversations with me. I don’t get “different” around her, and you won’t get “different” around her either, just stronger, more violent and a little unpredictable!
All reasonable trade offers will be considered. #Sports #Hockey #Vintage #Murder #Weapon #ProbablyNotHaunted
Response from Dealer Dave
Toronto Division
Bullshit.
I don’t believe your story for one second, but I need something to use for my son’s birthday pinata and your field hockey stick sounds like it would work. I have a Chinese bootleg CD of the U2 album How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, would that work?
Response from Michael Murray
Toronto Division
No, a crappy U2 CD will not do.
Do you have any wine?
Response from Dealer Dave
Toronto Division
No, I am not giving you wine for a piece of wood. I have a CD by the Tea Party, would you prefer that?
Response from Michael Murray
Toronto Division
No deal!! Sally says no!!!
Response from Cindy84
Toronto Division
Your dog is super cute! I also like your carpet. Would you be willing to trade either one of those instead of the creepy stick? I have gift cards…
Response from Make$2000AWeekFromHome
Toronto Division
I’m impressed, I have to admit. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that too few folks are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy I found this during my search for something relating to this.
Response from Redrum
Toronto Division
Interested in the weapon.
Do you know what became of Victoria Reid?
Response from Michael Murray
Toronto Division
Heard it was a suicide, but even after all these years there’s still a lot of controversy surrounding her death. Th CBC is said to be making a mini-series on it called, “The Possession of Victoria Reid.”
Sometimes she comes to me in my dreams.
Response from Redrum
Toronto Division
I work at a packing plant and have meat to trade. Lots of ground beef. One pound of ground beef for the weapon?
Response from Michael Murray
Toronto Division
I’m worried about food safety. I got Listeria once and will not go through that again. Do you have any wine? Sally likes you and wants to serve you.
Response from Redrum
Toronto Division
I have a half-full box of Jackson Triggs Merlot.
Response from Michael Murray
Toronto Division
Deal!
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While he currently holds a job as a Toronto City Councillor, he also works as an onsite volunteer at the Humane Society where his duties including dog walking, bottle feeding (kittens and some birds) and much, much more. However, this is not enough for the man and he has just started a weekly Advice Column for the media giant BuzzFeed:
ASK THE EX-MAYOR
Dear Ex-Mayor:
I am a HUGE Game of Thrones fan!!! Do you really think Jon Snow is dead? I don’t want him to be dead. He can’t be dead. Please don’t let him be dead!!
Super fan from Vaughan
A: My brother Doug and I are massive fans of The Game. Just huge. It’s one of the few shows that’s able to mix sex, nudity and violence with class, and it’s wholesome enough that you can watch it with your kids, too. Good life lessons in GOT, good life lessons. Five out of five on the Rob-O-Meter.
Kinda reminds me of Miami Vice in that way. You could always count on Crockett and Tubbs ( Remember to take the BuzzFeed quiz: Are you Crockett or Tubbs?) to teach you right from wrong.
My brother Doug and I used to watch that show all the time. We dressed up as ’em for Halloween, too, and always used to get in a fist fight over who got to be Crockett. Doug always won because he was the eldest, but it didn’t bother me too much, because I liked dressing up in black face and speaking in that crazy Jamaican accent. Didn’t know that wasn’t considered “politically correct” until after I was mayor. Whatever. People don’t know how to have fun.
Those were good times, though. Miss the good times. Miss ’em pretty bad.
Anyway, I don’t think that Jon Snow is dead. They did something weird with his eyes at the end and I think that means he went to live in his wolf-slave, or that maybe he’s returning as a White Walker, so don’t despair Super Fan!
Dear Ex-Mayor:
I’ve been dating a terrific guy for six months. We have a lot of interests in common and I love spending time with him, but lately I’ve been feeling that our core values aren’t aligned. I’m a lifelong Christian and I know what is right and wrong biblically. He’s a Christian too, but he told me that he lost his virginity and has no regrets about it even though he knows it’s religiously wrong. This upsets me because as a Christian I know premarital sex is not allowed. He’s a good man and I don’t want to lose him, but he’s sinning! What should I do?
Conflicted Christian
A: The one thing we know about Jesus, other than that he had a beard, is that he’s forgives EVERYTHING. He recently forgave me all my Ashley Madison sins, and my wife, whom Jesus had put in a pretty tight corner by forgiving me so quickly, had to cut me some friggin’ slack, too, as she knew I had Godly absolution. I tell you, the holy Lord is the best goddamn lawyer of all time.
But for Jesus to forgive your sins of the flesh, you first have to make ’em. So, whatever you do, whether you decide to remain true to your faith and only give your man a hand job, or if you cave in and screw his brains out with U2 blasting, Jesus will still think you’re cool! He’ll give you the keys to his kingdom whatever you do! I know it’s weird, but it’s true. I tell you, Jesus is a bloody rock star, the Bono of his time.
You’re gold, Conflicted Christian, so sex it up!
Dear Ex-Mayor:
How do I come out to my homophobic parents?
Anonymous, age 15
A:
You’re a fruit, eh?
Geez.
Boy, don’t know what to tell you.
Really scratching my head here.
I guess it all just kind of grosses me out. Don’t want to think about it and have those images in my head. Anyway, good luck and go Blue Jays!
