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US Presidential Elections – Welcome To The Magical Friendship Squad! http://michaelmurray.ca Michael Murray Writes Things Wed, 28 Nov 2012 07:13:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 Unedited Donald Trump Tweets following Obama’s Presidential Victory http://michaelmurray.ca/unedited-donald-trump-tweets-following-obamas-presidential-victory http://michaelmurray.ca/unedited-donald-trump-tweets-following-obamas-presidential-victory#comments Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:53:55 +0000 http://michaelmurray.ca/?p=2839 Donald Trump, as you may have heard, had a Twitter meltdown Tuesday night after Barack Obama defeated Mitt Romney in the 2012 Presidential election. Shortly after his intemperate screed, Trump began to edit and take down some of his more inflammatory posts, but I have a record of the originals, which I am now going to post for posterity:

Donald J Trump     39 m

Our nation is a once great nation divided.

Donald J Trump     43 m

Our country is now in serious and unprecedented trouble…like never before.

Donald J Trump       49m

Our country is a total sham and travesty. We are not a democracy!

Donald J Trump        51m

More votes equals a loss…revolution!

Donald J Trump        51m

Let’s fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.

Donald J Trump       53m

We can’t let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided

Donald J Trump        54 m

The phony electoral college made a laughing stock out of our nation. The loser one!

Donald J Trump        1 hr

He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country!

Donald J Trump         1hr 2 m

I can’t stop crying. America died.

Donald J Trump          1 hr 9m

I make the best luxury golf resorts in the world. Quality. 10% off for Revolutionaries.

Donald J Trump         1 hr 21m

Don’t miss the Trump Universe Pageant in Atlantic City 2013. We will rebuild with sexy ladies!

Donald J Trump     1 hr 23m

I offer 5 million dollars to the first patriot that maims our imposter president or lures him into sex tape situation.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 23 m

Patriot also gets a Lexus, quality vehicle with power windows. Gold.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 37m

Hate his imposter president’s monkey ears! Streets must flow with blood!

Donald J Trump 1 hr 39m

It will be AIDs blood, so wear rain boots!

Donald J Trump 1 hr 41m

Out of vodka and bored of my hookers.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 42m

Burning cigarette into woman’s flesh less energizing than would have thought.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 48m

She a good screamer, though, I’ll give her that.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 51m

Takes a lot of moxie to get on the Apprentice.

Donald J Trump 1 hr 52m

Moving to Dubai. Fuck America in the face. America, you’re fucking fired!

Donald J Trump 2hr 2m

Condos starting from just $1,699,000. Be amongst the first to live in most prestigious location in all of NYC!

Donald J Trump 2 hr 7 m

Thanks a lot Christians for not showing up to vote. You disgust me.

Donald J Trump 2 hr 18m

Can’t believe we have a Korean President! They eat dogs!!

Donald J Trump 2 hr 24m

Building a quality bomb. Trump quality. Will get the job done.

]]> http://michaelmurray.ca/unedited-donald-trump-tweets-following-obamas-presidential-victory/feed 3 Late night conversation with Toronto Mayor Rob Ford http://michaelmurray.ca/late-night-conversation-with-toronto-mayor-rob-ford http://michaelmurray.ca/late-night-conversation-with-toronto-mayor-rob-ford#respond Mon, 05 Nov 2012 20:39:37 +0000 http://michaelmurray.ca/?p=2824 Rob Ford, Toronto’s embattled Mayor, is a fiscal conservative with small eyes and big hands. The red-faced, misunderstood rascal is almost always in trouble with the media, most recently for taking a couple of hours off of some council meetings to coach the Donnie Bosco Eagles, a high school football team here in Toronto. Because Rob has a big-heart, when the game ended early on account of the threat of a brawl, the Mayor was able to commandeer two city buses off their normal routes to come and pick up his boys so that they wouldn’t have to wait nearly an hour for the arrival of their scheduled bus.

He was just thinking of the kids.

At any rate, as many of you know, Rob Ford and I went to Carleton University at the same time and were last call drinking buddies. Although we’ve never had a sober conversation, we developed a strange but resilient friendship, one that sees us communicate to this day. Whenever one of us is drinking alone, we often go on-line to chat with one another, a sort of nostalgic slur back to the good old days.

Around 2:30 Monday morning, I got this message from Rob:

Rob: Hey fag!

Me: Slobber!

Rob: Just. Fucking. Love. Sunday.

Me: It’s a holy day.

Rob: This grizzly worships at the church of FOOTBALL!!! PARTYYYY!!!

Me: What’s your fav football movie?  I think I like Against All Odds–Rachel Ward was hot!

Rob: She woulda made an awesome stripper.  But I think it’s All The Right Moves that does it for me. Cruise has always been my man, and you get to see the mother from Back to the Future naked. Boner city!! Movie hit me right where it counts.

Me: Your bio should be called Rob Ford: All The Right Moves. And you should be in football gear on the cover with a couple of cheerleaders flanking you!

Rob: I should fucken’ hire you, Murray.

Me: Wanna do a shot?

Rob: Just did one!

Me: Me too!

Rob: High-five!!

Me: You following the US election?

Rob: I live in Romney City, little buddy, Romney City.

Me: You like the small government, eh?

Rob: Yeah, it’s not that I’m a racist. Blacks are fucking awesome at football and lots of the chicks are super hot, like that chick in Sin City, Roxanna Dawson. I would vote for her ass in a second!!!!!

Me: You’ve always had a soft spot for the ladies.

Rob: You mean hard spot! 🙂 LOLOLOLLOO!!

Rob: You remember that waitress with the Montreal Canadiens tattoo on her neck?

Me: You mean stripper.

Rob: Yeah, she was black. I used to tip her real good.

Me: You’ve always been a class act slobber, just like you were with that football team you coach.

Rob: Couldn’t let ‘em wait after the game they put in, wouldn’t been right. The Mayor’s office gotta mean something, right?

Me: Yeah, you know, my wife wishes there were more chipmunks in Toronto, can you do anything about that?

Rob: Talk to a few people. Maybe deport some raccoons, bring in chipmunks. Make a chipmunk theme park, attract tourists– maybe make some chipmunk snack. Good idea, fagman, gonna get some people on it! Gonna grab another brew, c u soon!

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