An alert on The Weather Network page for Moncton, New Brunswick issued in the morning:

Dangerous Person

Issued at 9:32 AM Thursday 5 June 2014

Importance

HIGH

Recommended Action

The RCMP have advised residents to stay inside their homes and to lock their doors.

Description

A number of RCMP officers have been shot in Moncton. A manhunt is currently underway for a suspect.

A Tweet sent by the RCMP just after midnight:

RCMPNBJun 06, 12:30am via TweetDeck

Justin Bourque arrested by RCMP at 12:10 in Moncton. He is in police custody. Residents of north Moncton can now leave their homes.

A First Hand Account of the Moncton lockdown:

“Janelle and I took the kids down to the basement and told them we were going to have a Super Fun Adventure Day and that there would be no school. We played games, watched their favourite movies, had a little dance party and made forts out of blankest and chairs.

The kids had no idea what was going on, but all Janelle and I could think of was Justin Bourque, this insane killer loose in our neighbourhood. The whole thing, it was just like from a horror film. Do you think the two are connected? That sick people imitate horror movies or that there are two parallel streams, both running with the same polluted water? I have no idea, and the truth is that I couldn’t think straight all day. I was just a tangle of horrible, frenzied nerves, imagining every possible scenario. I was so glad that the hospitals had canceled their elective surgeries and that I didn’t have to go into work, because I really needed to be with my family, that need just pulled me from the inside, you know? Lord, everything was closed, schools and colleges, public transit, shopping malls, government offices, even the zoo, anywhere large groups of people might have been. It’s just awful, to have to think like a killer, just horrible.…Eventually the kids, oblivious, exhausted and actually happy, fell asleep, but Janelle and I could not. We drank wine and held one another for an hour or two and then I checked my phone and saw that the RCMP had sent out a text saying that they’d caught him and all I wanted to do was go outside, and so we did, all four of us. I had been hoping for stars in the sky, again like a movie, but this one with a happy ending, but it was raining lightly, and even though it was late the Benoit family were also standing outside their front door, and when they saw us they smiled and waved, and that’s when I just burst into tears.”

–Amanda Cunningham

What follows is Rob Ford’s response:

“The pandas? What do I think of the pandas? I think I goddamn love pandas!! (Takes reporter and places him in genial headlock while giving him a Noogie.) Ah, just fudging around, look, to be serious with ya for a second though, I got to say that I’ve always related to the panda. They’re big, strong and fiercely committed to their people, just like football players.

And you know, they’ve always got the eye black on, so you just know that they’re ready to go into battle. I’d be proud to go into battle with an army of pandas, and Jesus, if I had a team of football playing pandas we’d be as undefeatable as the free market! Just think about it. We wouldn’t lose a single game. Not. A. Single. Fucking. One.

Anyway, I have to give props to our communist Chinese friends for loaning us these pandas and letting them live in freedom for a few years. Hopefully, once the pandas get a taste for the independent, small government, big city dynamo that is Toronto– it’ll really get them turned-on. Guns ‘N’ Roses turned-on. Toronto is like an awesome guitar solo, you know?  Toronto will make the pandas hot, really hot, feeling all sexy like they’re watching a yoga class!  Does it to me everyday. The city girl make me hot, man, hot, sweaty hot. But Geez, it’s hard to imagine that pandas don’t like sex, but it’s a fact of science. Weird, that. So it’s my hope that Er Shawn is like the Jennifer Aniston of pandas and Dammy can’t keep his paws off of her. It’ll be Panda Time all the time, and we’ll become an industry leader in panda breeding. That means more jobs. More jobs for people who never even dreamed that they might one day get to see panda sex. (High-five)

Toronto is the city, stinkin’ rich in Asian culture and with a great Chinatown full of real cheap eats (and a spitting problem that I will take care of) where dreams can come true.  We’ll be known as panda city and we’ll have those little warrior bears all over the place! It’ll be so cute it’ll make you barf, and listen, I bet you my bottom dollar, that when my fucking downtown fucking casino opens, that the whores will be two for one and that all those baby pandas will clean up the raccoon problem that has plagued this city for years! If I, or any of my constituents have raccoon shit in their eaves troughs again, the whole frigging species is going get it. Raccoons, consider yourself on watch because Rob Ford and the pandas have a plan, and you aren’t in that plan.

And you know, this might sound all freaky or something, but I’ve had a lot of funny dreams involving pandas. Can’t quite explain it. I once wore a panda mask on Chat Roulette, didn’t even know why. Saw the video after the fact. Anyway, seems like fate that my city is going to be the city of panda sex–wild, eh? ”