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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s Christmas Card

Rob Ford, Toronto’s embattled, nearly ousted Mayor, sent out an e-mail Christmas card to all of his supporters this year:

I know it’s not politically correct to do this but I’m going to do it anyway, Merry Christmas everybody! I could say something like “Happy Holidays,” or “Season’s Greetings,” like the nerds in the office want, but I’ve got to be me! Rob Ford is Rob Ford, and if that means taking the difficult path of the warrior, then that’s the car I gotta drive, and if you don’t like it, well, you can just sit on it. So if you’re gay or an Indian or Jewish and don’t respect Jesus and commerce, well, just ignore this and continue with your Chinese food and movies. (By the way, if you’re looking for a movie to see I’d recommend The Hobbit. It is WAY cool! I’ve seen it three times and consider it an early Oscar favourite.)

Now that I’ve gotten the “politics” out of the way, I just want to say, WOW!!!!

What a freakin’ year!

Our very own Toronto Argonauts won the Grey Cup, there was a bunch of black on black killings in gangtown, and until the left-wing media drove me to quit, I went on a diet. Even more, we’ve all had to battle through the NHL lockout and the subsequent hockey pool draught it’s caused, we shared in the emotional roller coaster that was the Ikea Monkey, and finally we all survived the Mayan Apocalypse! (I tell you, I was never happier to have a vacation property in Florida (two swimming pools) than I was on December 21st when I thought it was all coming down! Anyway, I want you all to know that it was my honour to serve as your captain through all this joy and pain, all this sunshine and rain. Toronto, you can always count on me to be your quarterback.

I want to add that at city hall we’re really proud that we’ve been able to slow down the gravy train. It’s third and long for the socialists and downtown elite and soon we’ll have a casino the size of an airport right in the middle of Toronto, firmly establishing us as a world-class city. We have an awful lot to look forward to in 2013, so rock on, T.O!

Here’s hoping you all fight hard, but fight fair on Boxing Day, and that you get the stuff you want!

Rob

PS: And remember, if you get stopped during a holiday ride program, always say that you haven’t had anything to drink so that the police officer doesn’t have reasonable cause to give you a breathalyzer!

3 Comments Post a comment
  1. cam #

    well well that was a mouth full .And this guy is the mayor of a city the size of toronto .Think maybe he should be on the waiting list at the nearest mental health facility .I have always said to take the regular house wife who juggles the family money who does all the clean up and who can stretch a dollar ,and give her 6 months in this guys seat with his payroll of course ,and send him to some place remote on a one way ticket .and see if she can help clean things up ..THINK ABOUT IT A DEALS WITH SHIT EVERY DAY AND EACH DAY THERE IS NEW SHIT ,PARDON THE LANGUAGE .SHE DEALS WIH BABIES .TODDLERS AND TEENS AND CHEATING HUSBANDS .SHE DROPS OFF KIDS AT HOCKEY AND PICKS THEM UP .SHE GROCERY SHOPS ,PAYS THE BILLS AND RUNS AN ENTIRE HOUSE HOLD 24/7 .SHE MAKES RULES .DOES ALL THE PUNISHMENT .SO WHO BETTER THAN A HOUSE WIFE ,JUST YOUR EVERYDAY JANE .This guy is to young to run a city .You need some one young at heart with life experience behind .

    December 27, 2012
  2. Hey!

    This was written by that downtown lefty Murray who Ben Eager shoulda’ finished when he got the chance. And people say I’m paranoid when I tell them the pinkos are out to get me.

    Sincerely
    R. Ford

    December 27, 2012
  3. Michael Murray #

    Cam:

    You got that right, I think.

    December 28, 2012

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