Yesterday I bought a cookie.<\/p>\n

It was double chocolate chip and I was really looking forward to eating it.<\/p>\n

I saved it all day.<\/p>\n

Some of you might think this a little feminine of me, but I don’t care, it’s the truth and I’m a truth teller.
\nIt’s not always easy to be a truth teller, but it’s the right path, even if some people think you’re different. No matter, I thought about this cookie a fair amount and devised a specific plan for its consumption. I would eat it before dinner, while coaching my wife Rachelle’s floor hockey team, The Jesus Cobras, at their 7:00 o’clock game.<\/p>\n

It turned out to be a very tense and stressful game.<\/p>\n

As a truth teller, sometimes my coaching methods are misunderstood, and when I called Sharon, one of our defenders, \u201cfat and lazy,\u201d for failing to prevent a goal, it was taken the wrong way and a ripple of insubordination ran through the Cobras. Like a serpent, Rachelle hissed at me, \u201c I’m telling you, you stop right now with all this shrieky, insulting bullshit or I’m, I’m, you don’t even want to know what I’m going to do!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes I do,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n

Rachelle pointed her finger at me, held my gaze for about ten seconds, and then walked away like she was Clint Eastwood, or something.<\/p>\n

It was my plan to light a fire beneath the complacent Jesus Cobras, and then later, after they had taken out their fury on their opponents and begun their comeback, I would eat my cookie. At this point I took a brief break from my coaching, not because I was intimidated by Rachelle or any of the other threats from the team, but because sometimes I just like quiet time by myself. At any rate, when I returned the game was almost over. I went over to my knapsack and as I began to look for my cookie, I noticed that Rachelle was sharing it with the Cobras.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, that’s my cookie!\u201d I shouted, \u201cI’ve been saving that all day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sharon, who really didn’t need to be eating any more, said, \u201c Coach Shrieky, we needed the energy boost!\u201d All the other Cobras, like serpents in the weeds, began to laugh. I lunged at my cookie but Sharon was suddenly swift, unlike she had been on the court, and I grasped at air and tumbled onto the ground. Apparently, this was very funny, and Calvin, who is a VERY shitty winger, put on my hat which had fallen off and started to strut about yelling stupid things and asking, \u201c Who am I? Who am I?\u201d And as one, the Cobras yelled out \u201cCoach Shrieky!\u201d<\/p>\n

I ignored this and very politely asked for my cookie, but the Cobras devoured it right in front of me. At this point, my allergies began to bother me and I went off alone to a corner to blow my nose. As I sat there facing the wall, a man tapped me on the back. He was hugely muscled and had been working out in the weight room. He looked me square in the eyes, \u201c I know things don’t look so good right now, and I know how much bullying can hurt, but I want you to know, I need you to know, it get’s better, it really does.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I bought a cookie. It was double chocolate chip and I was really looking forward to eating it. I saved it all day. Some of you might think this a little feminine of me, but I don’t care, it’s the truth and I’m a truth teller. It’s not always easy to be a truth […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1445"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1445"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1445\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}