Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is an embattled fiscal conservative who really likes football. The media are always on his ass, tracking his every move and mocking the Bro Culture that he so proudly embodies. It\u2019s immensely stressful and as such Ford has been seeing a therapist who has asked him to keep a Dream Journal which the Mayor is known to diligently record each morning as he drives in to work.<\/p>\n

These are some excerpts from his journal:<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just like the Hunger Games. I\u2019m in the woods with a bow and arrow and rock and it\u2019s either kill or be killed. A bureaucrat shows up and asks me a bunch of questions about expenditures and I\u2019m going to shoot her but my bow and arrow thing doesn\u2019t work, so I start to hit her in the face with my big rock. When I wake up I feel completely awesome, like I had just recovered a fumble.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in Chicago on my trade mission vacation and I\u2019m standing in front of that bean cloud sculpture thing in the midst of a big media scrum. Tough questions, man. <\/a>And then I see my reflection in the bean cloud thing. It\u2019s like it\u2019s me but it\u2019s not me, and I can see that Bean Cloud Rob is trying to say something to me and that it\u2019s important, like the winning play for my football team or the answer to one of the questions I\u2019m getting asked, but something is preventing the message from getting across. It was creepy, like Bean Cloud Rob was a ghost, and so I got mad and started to push and shake the Bean Cloud, but nothing happened. Woke up fucking furious.<\/p>\n

In my dream the NHL season is about to be lost.\u00a0 Everybody is sad and angry. I drive up in my Escalade and get out and stride into the boardroom where the reps for the owners and players are meeting. \u201cGuys, it\u2019s like this: 50% for the owners, 50% for the players and 100% for the fans! You got it, damn it, or do I have to tell you again?!\u201d And everybody is completely thrilled with my plan and the Boyz n the Bright White Sports Car by Trooper starts to blast and we party like it\u2019s 1999! And then a chick peels off her top and it\u2019s even more awesome.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

This one is friggin\u2019 weird, but I\u2019m a peanut that\u2019s trapped in its shell. I\u2019m at a ballgame and I know I don\u2019t have long. I can hear some guy reaching into a bag and grabbing a handful of nuts, breaking the shells open and then chomping down on \u2018em. It\u2019s like goddamn thunder, it\u2019s like I can hear \u2018em screming! I know I have to escape but I don\u2019t know how. I\u2019m banging my peanut fists against the shell and hollering, but nothing\u2019s happening and then I wake up really frustrated and mad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is an embattled fiscal conservative who really likes football.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2683,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[653,113,138,647,650,295,101,98,506,36,325,655,415,649,657,151,69,654,656,651,196,652,50,646,648],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2679"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2679"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2760,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2679\/revisions\/2760"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}