Last week Rachelle and I went to see Steven Spielberg\u2019s critically acclaimed new movie Lincoln. We did this after dinner, a meal that included a big piece of meat and several glasses of wine. This wasn\u2019t good planning as the movie is two and a half hours in length, and after a spell, it feels like it\u2019s longer. Designed to be admired more than enjoyed, Lincoln sat in front of us like a windy Baby Boomer talking about a recent vacation, real estate, golf and then politics, and soon enough Rachelle and I (we had to sit apart as the theatre was packed) began to text one another.<\/p>\n

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Me: That steak was good.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: It was.<\/p>\n

Me: Really glad I\u2019m here cuz after the US election really didn\u2019t feel like I\u2019d had enough politics!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Haha!!<\/p>\n

Me: What movie would u like to be watching right now?<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Babe: Pig in the city.<\/p>\n

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Me: Yeah, that was good– no nudity though.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Babe was nude.<\/p>\n

Me: True.<\/p>\n

Me: I thought Lincoln might emancipate a nude slave or something.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Ur thinking Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.<\/p>\n

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Me: Nude vampire slaves? Why r we here????<\/p>\n

Rachelle: U still in the theatre?<\/p>\n

Me: YES!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Poor, brave pickle!<\/p>\n

Me: Where are u?<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Walking home from the subway.<\/p>\n

Me: Why didn\u2019t u tell me u were leaving?!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: U were asleep. Snoring so horribly, I was embarrassed to know u.<\/p>\n

Me: The usher has woken up 3 people that I\u2019ve seen, so I wasn\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: You were probably asleep for about 20 more wake-ups!<\/p>\n

Me: Hope Lincoln gets assassinated soon.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: That\u2019s not very nice, he was a great American!<\/p>\n

Me: Lots of \u201cacting\u201d in this movie. Wigs everywhere.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: It’s a nice night for a stroll, and look, I just found a five dollar bill on the street!<\/p>\n

Me: ur a very lucky woman.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: You make your own luck, they say!<\/p>\n

Me: I think there\u2019s about 45 minutes left in this movie.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Why don\u2019t u just leave?<\/p>\n

Me: Still might be some tasteful nudity.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: U want to see Lincoln nude, don’t u!<\/p>\n

Me: No! I\u2019m just not leaving till the slaves are free, dammit! I care!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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