For those of you who have forgotten or may never have known, 48 year-old Jose Canseco was a major league baseball player. He had quite the career, actually. In 1988 he was MVP of the American League, gaining all sorts of notoriety as one of the steroid-fuelled Bash Brothers. He later wrote a tell-all biography called Juiced, dated Madonna, launched a one-fight MMA career,<\/p>\n

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has done his time on reality TV, served as a columnist for Vice Magazine, has been to jail, shares all his late night \u201cinspirations\u201d on Twitter and completely loves cars. In short, he is a 12 year-old boys idea of what the American dream could be, and for a moment that dream was to become mayor of Toronto.<\/p>\n

Last week as Canseco was Tweeting his New Year\u2019s resolutions, which included, \u201cFight Shaq in MMA cage match,\u201d and \u201c help people getting screwed wherever I can,\u201d he also enthused about running for mayor of Toronto\u2014the city where he hit 46 home runs for the Blue Jays back in 1998. This was pretty much the best thing that I had ever come across on Twitter, and I immediately Tweeted back to Canseco in an effort to help.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Don\u2019t worry about any Citizenship issues in Toronto mayoral bid, I will gay marry you!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: But first you should try to become one of the Beauties on The Price is Right\u2014they are now accepting men!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: It would make our union credible and be good PR!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Secure the downtown Grinder vote.<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: Jose swings for the fences, not with other dudes!<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: I am having my people look into citizenship issues.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: But weren\u2019t you in prison?<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: I called it Jose\u2019s Castle, and I was in charge.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Got it, I hear you!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: I have some campaign ideas for you, I am an idea factory!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: The Ikea Monkey will be your campaign signature, always standing on your flexed bicep– like a fetish.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Open up Jarvis Bike Lane and make the Ikea Monkey municipal symbol.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Ikea Monkey everywhere!<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: Ford too much trouble to be effective. Gotta fix budget, traffic, get new $ not from taxes, get more businesses, and help schools.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: The only thing that can help schools is a casino!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: A monkey themed casino!<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: I\u2019m listening. Contact my assistant.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: And forget about Shaq, you must challenge mayor Rob Ford to an MMA fight. All proceeds to go to the monkey casino for the children!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Ford is slow and easily confused.<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: I will throat punch him.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: He will die if you do that!!!<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Hey, did you ever have sex with Madonna? I bet she was pretty aggressive.<\/p>\n

@michaelmurray: Just heard from my assistant and I can\u2019t run for Toronto Mayor.<\/p>\n

@michaelmurrayca: Will now just work harder on my anti-aging drink Ponce de Canseco.<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: Nothing gonna keep you down! You are my hero. Can I have an autographed photo?<\/p>\n

@josecanseco: You remind me a bit of Fred Flintstone, but in a good way!<\/p>\n

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