One of the more upsetting things to have happened in the last week was news that 68 year-old actor Michael Douglas attributes the type of throat cancer he had to the HPV virus, or more specifically, to cunnilingus.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

I did not want that image in my head.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a haunting, is what it is, and I think I would rather be plagued by the image of a baby being pulled from a sewage pipe in China or of doomed storm chasers trying to drive through an apocalyptic tornado in Oklahoma. I just don\u2019t want to have to think about Michael Douglas doing that, okay?<\/p>\n

With that in mind, and in an effort to cleanse my mind of the image by actually exploding it, I have created a list of some other things that should never be associated together.<\/p>\n

Rob Ford: Cunnilingus<\/p>\n

Jack Nicholson: Cunnilingus<\/p>\n

Toenail: Kickstand<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Groupon: Dentistry<\/p>\n

Donald Trump: Showering and\/or Cologne Application<\/p>\n

Joan Rivers: Blowjob<\/p>\n

Michael Douglas: Blowjob<\/p>\n

Ann Coulter: Sex tape<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Rob Ford: Your washroom<\/p>\n

Compound fracture: A Parent<\/p>\n

Cosplay: Olympic Event<\/p>\n

Segway Tour: Wine Country<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the more upsetting things to have happened in the last week was news that 68 year-old actor Michael Douglas attributes the type of throat cancer he had to the HPV virus, or more specifically, to cunnilingus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3454,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[1488,1485,138,499,1478,1484,177,843,246,1483,151,400,196,50,1487,592,1486],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3453"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3453"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3512,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3453\/revisions\/3512"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}