As many of you know, Toronto mayor Rob Ford– a man of the people– has been the subject of exhaustive surveillance from city police as part of their Project Brazen investigation. In an effort to find evidence of prosecutable criminal behaviour, the police have really stepped up their game employing helicopters, planes and psychics in an effort to bring down the best mayor the city has ever had.*1<\/p>\n
What follows is a partial transcript of what some of their surveillance revealed:<\/p>\n
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2:43 am: Ford drives his Escalade, distinctive Ford You license plate and brass balls hanging from the vehicle\u2019s undercarriage visible, into 7-11 parking lot. Tom Cochrane \u201cLife is a Highway\u201d plays loudly through the speakers.<\/p>\n
2:45 am: Ford urinates against a nearby dumpster and enters store.<\/p>\n
2:46 am: Ford buys large bag of Cheesies, opens them and begins eating them.<\/p>\n
2:47 am: Ford says that each Cheesie is like \u201c a little orange blow-job,\u201d and then offers some to the clerk.<\/p>\n
2:48 am: Ford associate Sandro Lisi drives into the parking lot.<\/p>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n 2:49 am: Ford asks clerk about his accent, wants to know if it was real or just something he made up.<\/p>\n 2:50 am: Cheesie dust all over the mayor, he tells clerk that if city hall wasn’t so stuck-up, he’d speak with an accent all the time. \u00a0Loves the Jamaican accent he says in Jamaican accent.<\/p>\n 2:51 am: Ford gives clerk his business card, tells him to call if he has a pothole problem.<\/p>\n 2:52 am: Sandro Lisi honks car horn.<\/p>\n 2:53 am: Police receive tip from psychic that Ford might be in New Jersey. Helicopter dispatched. Possible we are currently following a double. Ford not to be underestimated.<\/p>\n 2:54 am: Ford hurries out of 7-11, avoiding all eye contact with Lisi, unrolls Escalade driver\u2019s side window and then goes and hides behind the dumpster.<\/p>\n 2:55 am: Lisi, one arm in a sling, enters into 7-11 and buys a pepperette, bottle of Gatorade and a Scratch N\u2019 Win ticket.<\/p>\n 2:57 am: Lisi scratches ticket and wins. Very happy. Punches good arm up into air. Cashier gives him $10. \u00a0Lisi buys five more tickets, scratching each one at counter. No wins. Lisi, angry, but clearly more disappointed in himself.<\/p>\n 2:58 am Lisi leaves 7-11 and drops small parcel into front seat of Ford\u2019s car.<\/p>\n 3:00 am: Lisa makes cell phone call to Rob Ford. Undercover detective working as 7-11 clerk hears ringing behind dumpster. Lisi drives away<\/p>\n 3:01 am: Rob Ford pops up from behind the dumpster and runs to car, looks in window at parcel Lisi had placed on the front seat. Does window of vehicle back up and returns to 7-11, buying rolling paper, matches and a copy of Maxim Magazine.<\/p>\n