<\/p>\n

Achieving one of the highest pollution ratings in the history of the planet last week, the city of Shanghai was almost completely enveloped by smog.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

The skyline was obscured, schoolchildren were ordered to stay inside and all manner of commerce was suspended. This was a monumental, even apocalyptic kind of problem, but the government decided to use it as a rather cheerful opportunity to disseminate propaganda, pointing out that the smog was excellent for national defence as it acted as a kind of shield, discombobulating the navigational systems of enemy missiles. I present to you a short list of some of the messages the government passed along to the people in the hopes of quelling their anxiety and boosting their morale:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough criminals may think the smog conceals their actions from our surveillance cameras, the people of China will always do what is right!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cNow free from the courageous bustle of industry, it is a lovely time to stroll the streets of Shanghai!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018It is important for the people of China to understand that the pollution we see in the air is definitely not living invisibly in the water, earth or food sources of our nation! China: United in safety!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cThe brownish, rank smog must know that the colour of Red China will never change!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBe indomitable in physical training to strengthen the physique, but please, not outdoors in peak smog hours!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe people must keep the birth rate low to defeat the smog! \u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe are fortunate and blessed not to have a flu epidemic while the people fight smog!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe smog is our shield against aggressive capitalist imperialism!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cIt is good that Kanye cancelled his concert in Shanghai because of the smog for he is decadent and corrupt!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike smog, the Gods of wealth can enter the home from everywhere if the worker is committed!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cChinese women\u2019s volleyball, #1 the envy of the world!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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