Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi has sent a preliminary inquiry to NBA Commissioner Adam Silver about the possible purchase of the Los Angeles Clippers. This is the letter of inquiry:<\/p>\n
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Venerable Brother Silver,<\/p>\n
It is with great joy that I write to you, as it is as if our prayers have been answered!<\/p>\n
Los Angeles Clipper\u2019s owner Donald Sterling\u2019s ill-publicized remarks about the black race and other similar minority groups, and the subsequent public outcry in opposition to those remarks, have created a golden opportunity for the Vatican!<\/p>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n Clearly, as the appearance of good public relations is essential to managing a business, it is incumbent on the NBA to force the Jew owner to sell the team, and long has the Vatican wished to own an NBA franchise, for truly basketball is God\u2019s game!<\/p>\n Dominus autem benedixit repercussu.<\/p>\n As you know, we have unlimited, eternal wealth and could easily afford the purchase and maintenance of the franchise. We think that the marriage of La Sante Sede and the NBA would be a blessed one, offering the league an international presence and a vast, unblinking and docile audience of Christians (superior demographic), and in return the Vatican would receive multiple revenue streams and an opportunity to further promote, and make cool, our message of hope, abstinence and tithing.<\/p>\n Mulieres ordinatur inferius.<\/p>\n We would change the team name to: The Los Angeles Exorcism.<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n Woe to those who face The Los Angeles Exorcism!<\/p>\n