On Monday there was an altercation.<\/p>\n

I was accompanying a friend and her two daughters on a little outing to get the girls some fake ID on Yonge Street,<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

and as it was going to take about 40 minutes to have the cards made we went up the street to the Ban Mi Boys to grab a sandwich. We sat at a table for four, where it appeared somebody had left a shopping bag, and began to eat our lunch.<\/p>\n

A man, short, round and about 10 years older than me, told us that it was his table and he\u2019d saved it by placing his bag there.<\/p>\n

Aggressor: That\u2019s my table you\u2019re sitting at! I saved it with my bag! You have to leave!<\/p>\n

My bossy, stubborn, German friend:<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

NO!!<\/p>\n

Me: Well hold on, perhaps you\u2019d like to pull up a chair and sit with us? That way we can all enjoy our lunch and perhaps learn something about one another, too?<\/p>\n

Aggressor: NO!! THIS IS MY TABLE!! I WANT MY TABLE!!<\/p>\n

My bossy, stubborn, German friend: No, that\u2019s not the way that it works. You can\u2019t save tables. How were we supposed to know that this bag was some sort of magic placeholder for you? We\u2019re not leaving.<\/p>\n

Aggressor: YOU HAVE TO LEAVE! IT\u2019S MINE!!<\/p>\n

Daughter #1: I\u2019m scared.<\/p>\n

Daughter #2: I\u2019m scared, too. Maybe we should just leave?<\/p>\n

Me: No, we\u2019re not going to leave. (Looking at the aggressor firmly) Either you can sit with us or you can find another table, but we\u2019re not getting up from our meal to give you our spot.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Daughter #1: You are so cool, Michael.<\/p>\n

Me: It\u2019s not about being cool, it\u2019s about doing the right thing.<\/p>\n

Aggressor: I WANT MY TABLE, I WANT MY TABLE, I WANT MY TABLE!!!<\/p>\n

Me: It\u2019s not your table.<\/p>\n

My bossy, stubborn, German friend: Go fuck yourself, old man.<\/p>\n

At this point the man, snarling, swatted at my tray, sending it flying into my chest and lap. I was covered in my own lunch. I stood up to my full height and opened my arms wide, \u201cIn my heart and mind I have your troubled soul in my full embrace,\u201d and as he was looking at me all confused, I sprayed him with the little bottle of mace I keep on my keychain.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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