The other night we went out for dinner at Foxley on Ossington. I was the first to arrive, and these are the text messages that I received from my wife Rachelle while I waited for the rest of the group:<\/p>\n

R: My hockey game just ended and I should be there in about 10!<\/p>\n

R: No fights.<\/p>\n

R: There are never any fights.<\/p>\n

R: Well, thank you, I guess.<\/p>\n

R: I appreciate that you think I would be good in fight.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

R: It\u2019s one of the nicest things you\u2019ve ever said to me.<\/p>\n

R: Very romantic.<\/p>\n

R: Oh, you got the best seat in the house!<\/p>\n

R: Well done, Pickle!<\/p>\n

R: Yes, your charm is considerable.<\/p>\n

R: I bet the hostess didn\u2019t stand a chance.<\/p>\n

R: Those new sneakers really give you a lot of confidence, don\u2019t they?<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

R: Imagine how you\u2019d feel if you had a driver\u2019s license and a job, too??<\/p>\n

R: You\u2019d be made of confidence! You\u2019d probably take over a country or something!<\/p>\n

R: I\u2019m not being sarcastic.<\/p>\n

R: I\u2019m being cute, playful and funny.<\/p>\n

R: Hockey doesn\u2019t make me mean.<\/p>\n

R: Oh, Pickle, you know I love you, and I do appreciate that you got there early and used your charm to get us the best table in the place.<\/p>\n

R: Yes, you do have a commanding presence. It\u2019s clear from the way that animals always obey you.<\/p>\n

R: Our dog, for instance, she really listens!<\/p>\n

R: And remember when the squirrel knocked you over and gave you a bloody nose when it stole a lozenge from you?<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

R: No? Well, you did hit your head pretty hard, it\u2019s possible you got a concussion.<\/p>\n

R: Yes, you just keep up with the online brain games and I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n

R: I know you skipped grade three, but honey, that was a very, very long time ago.<\/p>\n

R: WHAT????<\/p>\n

R: REALLY??? HOLY FUCK!!<\/p>\n

R: For the love of Christ, DO NOT SAY A WORD TO HIM!!<\/p>\n

R: I CANNOT BELIEVE JIM CUDDY IS IN THE RESTAURANT!! OMG!<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

R: NO!!! Do not tell him that you really admired his work in the Bare Naked Ladies!<\/p>\n

R: You know damn well he was in Blue Rodeo.<\/p>\n

R: But it\u2019s true, I would be a bare naked lady for him!<\/p>\n

R: How does he look?<\/p>\n

R: Yes, it is interesting that you got the best seat in the house and not him. HOW DOES HE LOOK?<\/p>\n

R: Oh, he\u2019s wearing ugly sneakers, is he?<\/p>\n

R: I still love him. I would love him in any weather.<\/p>\n

R: Whatever you do, pleasepleaseplease don\u2019t speak to him.<\/p>\n

R: Please, promise me that.<\/p>\n

R: Look, I\u2019m allowed celebrity crushes.<\/p>\n

R: I know you\u2019ve been looking at the nudes of Jennifer Lawrence.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

R: I know you say you\u2019d never violate her and that it\u2019s a sex crime to look at stolen photos, but your Internet history tells a different story.<\/p>\n

R: Look, let\u2019s cut the bullshit, just make sure I\u2019m sitting where I have a clear sight line to him, I\u2019ll be there in 30 seconds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other night we went out for dinner at Foxley on Ossington.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[159,2818,2817,2821,138,2822,1678,36,2814,581,415,956,117,649,2816,69,2820,2815,1808,2819,50,115,537,409,38,1954,2492],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4707"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4707"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4707\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4714,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4707\/revisions\/4714"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4707"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4707"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4707"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}