The Jian Ghomeshi sex storm is thundering and raining hard over the city of Toronto right now.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a complicated and unresolved situation at this point, but in short, Ghomeshi, a popular radio personality in Canada, was fired from his job because his BDSM sexual proclivities– and the serious allegations stemming from them– were brought to the attention of his employers who decided, upon careful reflection, that they could no longer work with him as he damaged the brand. It is more intricate and terrible than just that, of course, and crisis management teams, wounded parties and insane lawsuits are now a part of the sex storm, but one thing that has happened with absolute certainty is that I now know way more about BDSM and the laws governing it than I ever imagined I would.<\/p>\n

As I am a very adventurous and sensual person, I have suggested to my wife that we experiment with some BDSM in our life and she readily agreed. This is the BDSM Journal that I have been keeping.<\/p>\n

Day 1<\/p>\n

Submissive role: Rachelle<\/p>\n

Dominant role: Me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Me: I DON\u2019T WANT TO WATCH NASHVILLE TONIGHT!!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Pickle, I don\u2019t think you\u2019re supposed to yell, I think it\u2019s more a tone thing.<\/p>\n

Me: Oh.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Don\u2019t worry. This is new for both of us, just try again.<\/p>\n

Me: Okay.<\/p>\n

Me: (Clears throat and delivers line sounding like Clint Eastwood) I don\u2019t want to watch that damn Nashville tonight.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: No honey, you sound like an old man<\/p>\n

Me: Is that good? Does it turn you on?<\/p>\n

Rachelle: No, not really. Let\u2019s just watch Nashville, okay?<\/p>\n

Grade of experience: 6 out of 10<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 2<\/p>\n

Dominant role: Rachelle<\/p>\n

Submissive role: Me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rachelle: We\u2019re going to Ikea today to find some storage solutions and maybe a runner for the dining room table!<\/p>\n

Me: I\u2019m not feeling well.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: OBEY ME, SLAVE!!<\/p>\n

Me: Coldplay! Coldplay! Coldplay!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Honey, that\u2019s not the safe word.<\/p>\n

Me: I forgot it. What is it?<\/p>\n

Rachelle: I\u2019m not allowed to tell you. GET IN THE CAR, WE\u2019RE GOING TO IKEA, MAGGOT FACE!<\/p>\n

Me: Cold sore! Cold sore! Cold sore!<\/p>\n

Rachelle; No, slave, that\u2019s not it either! Put on your leash and get in the car, I COMMAND THEE!!<\/p>\n

Me: Are we taking the dog with us?<\/p>\n

Rachelle: YES!!<\/p>\n

Grade of experience: 0 out of 10<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 3<\/p>\n

Dominant role: Me<\/p>\n

Submissive role: Rachelle<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Me: Please pass me the salad!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Yes, master.<\/p>\n

Grade of experience: 9 out of 10<\/p>\n

Day 4<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sadistic role: Rachelle<\/p>\n

Masochistic role: Me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rachelle: I have made bulgur for dinner tonight! It is an excellent source of fiber! Eat it now, worm!!<\/p>\n

Me: I have been feeling a little clogged up lately. I deserve to be punished, master.<\/p>\n

Rachelle: (Takes my glass of wine away)<\/p>\n

Me: Hey! What the fuck???<\/p>\n

Rachelle: You are forbidden from having any more wine this week! You drink too much and it\u2019s bad for you, my cockroach!<\/p>\n

Me: Cold war! Cold war! Cold war!<\/p>\n

Rachelle: Pitiful fool, you\u2019re not even close with the safe word! Teaches you for not listening to your master, now eat your bulgur!!<\/p>\n

Me: Is there any Sriracha, at least?<\/p>\n

Rachelle: NO! YOU FORGOT TO PICK UP AT THE GROCERY STORY! NOW, SILENCE! (puts on the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing)<\/p>\n

Grade of experience: 0 out of 10<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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