Last week I was part of a Skype conference call between four people. It was a tutorial for the three of us who were just starting out on a new project, and although we could hear one another\u2019s voices we could not see one another.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Team Leader: Okay, I guess we\u2019ll just wait another five minutes to see if Noor shows up, but if not we\u2019ll just start without her.<\/p>\n

(AWKWARD SILENCE)<\/p>\n

Me: Well, I think it might be a nice way to kill the time if we each told one another a little bit about ourselves.<\/p>\n

Team Leader: This isn\u2019t required so nobody has to participate.<\/p>\n

Me: My name is Michael Murray, I stand nearly six feet four inches tall and live in Toronto with my wife and our Miniature Dachshund. When I was a boy Iron Fist was my favourite superhero. He could summon and focus his chi into one amazing punch and was teemed with the super awesome Luke Cage, who was known not to take any jive.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Person #1: My name is Cindy and I live in Ottawa.<\/p>\n

Person #2: Tom, in London.<\/p>\n

Person #3: My name is Beth and I live in Kingston where I\u2019m a student, and I guess I my favourite superhero would be Lara Croft.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Me: She\u2019s not a superhero. She\u2019s a video game character.<\/p>\n

Person #3: Oh, I didn\u2019t realize that Iron Fist was a real person. I\u2019m surprised I haven\u2019t heard more about him.<\/p>\n

Team Leader: Hopefully Noor will be here very soon. We\u2019ll just give her two more minutes and then we\u2019ll get into the material.<\/p>\n

Me: Team Leader, is there any sort of dress code we have to abide by when we\u2019re doing our work?<\/p>\n

Team Leader: Well, as you\u2019ll be working from home, of course not.<\/p>\n

Me: Great, because it\u2019s a straight up fact that I do my best work when I\u2019m not wearing a shirt.<\/p>\n

Person #1: Gross.<\/p>\n

Team Leader: Michael, we don\u2019t need to know that. You\u2019re over-sharing and making us all a little bit uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Person #1: Look, I\u2019m not a difficult person, but I think this is sexual harassment.<\/p>\n

Me: I think you hear what you want to hear, Cindy.<\/p>\n

Person #1: What does that mean?<\/p>\n

Me: You sound like somebody who maybe wants to get sexually harassed, you know?<\/p>\n

Team Leader: Okay Michael, you are way out of bounds here and if you don\u2019t apologize immediately and stop this conduct, you will be terminated from the project.<\/p>\n

Me: Our Dear Leader makes a persuasive argument. Cindy, I am very sorry, I was just making stuff up and trying to be funny, lighten things up a bit while we waited, but I see that I was creepy and inappropriate, and I am really, truly sorry for that.<\/p>\n

Person #1: Fine, but I still feel like I need a shower.<\/p>\n

Person #2: I think we all do.<\/p>\n

Noor: Hello! Sorry I\u2019m late, did I miss anything?<\/p>\n

Me: We were just talking about taking a group shower.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Team Leader: Michael, you\u2019re fired.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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