Russian President Vladimir Putin’s ex-wife, Lyudmila, just married a man who is more than 20 years her junior. Shortly after hearing the news, Putin, who was presenting a medal to national judo team head coach Ezio Gamba, addressed the judo club with whom he had just trained:<\/p>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n Friends;<\/p>\n I am sorry for any broken limbs and shattered teeth that my enthusiasms may have caused. It was not my intention to hurt any of you, and you should know that Father Russia loves all of his children.<\/p>\n I must thank you very much for this training session. I needed it. Sometimes, the stresses of a global Alpha can be intense. Sometimes, you must break something or you yourself will be broken!<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n (Waits for applause to subside)<\/p>\n A man does not have it easy in this world, let me tell you.<\/p>\n But I am not here to speak of the unknowable hardships and cruelties a man such as myself must endure. No, I am here to congratulate Ezio Gamba for the powerful and autocratic judo lessons he has dispensed to the national team! He has made you all super hardcore, and that is the Russian way!<\/p>\n We are too hardcore for the Americans! We are too hardcore for the Japanese! We are too hardcore all the feminine states of Europe! We are hardcore!! And Ezio, much of that is due to you, and I thank you.<\/p>\n I will tell you something you would not guess, but it is not conducting surveillance operations or gassing protestors where I feel most at home.<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n No, it is on the judo Tatami. It is there where I am my powerful true self.<\/p>\n
\n(Cheering)<\/p>\n
\n(Cheering)<\/p>\n
\n(Cheering)<\/p>\n
\n(Waits for applause to subside)<\/p>\n