In an effort to combat this, my wife Rachelle has developed a side hustle in which she combs through various stores for used children’s clothing and then sells what she finds online. I have recently become a part of her purchasing team.<\/span><\/p>\n What follows are the texts she sent to me while I was on a shopping mission: <\/span><\/p>\n **************************************<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: So, did you get those pink Sorel boots at the Value Village that you promised to pick up for me?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh. <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: I’d have thought you’d be there by now.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: What problem?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh, I didn’t realize that taking the Queen streetcar to a destination on Queen street was \u201ccounter-intuitive,\u201d especially considering that we used to live on that street.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Yes, I guess that was a lifetime ago.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: We were very different people then, it’s true.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: That’s right, there was no Netflix back in those days! <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Yes, those were much more innocent times. <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Those were the days before you fell down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole! <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: I’m sorry dear, of course I meant \u201cGot Woke.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Yes, you really are just as woke as fuck, and you’re right, the Lame-stream media can’t be trusted– it’s just too bad you still have such trouble with ordinary challenges is all.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: That’s what you want people to think. <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: I see. <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Conceal the truth within a fog of misdirection! Just like a magician!<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: It’s amazing how successful you’ve been at making everybody believe you’re not very hygienic and unable to hold a job! <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh, don’t be like that! <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: You’re still my favourite flavour of ice cream!<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: What? Something’s happening on the streetcar? <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Bullying? Well that is serious! <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: What’s he saying to you, Pickle? <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Well sure, it could be somebody else getting bullied, but I just figured it was part of your plan. You know, to draw fire from the weak to the strong! <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: I do know you well, Pickle!<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: So what did the guy say to you?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: She called you a \u201cweak-chinned twerp\u201d because you got the last seat?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: You’re right, it’s not your fault she’s slow.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: You know what I think? I think she underestimated your quickness! Just like you planned!<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: But still, it’s amazing how bullies know exactly where to attack!<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: How did she know that you’re so sensitive about your weak chin?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh, good one, telling her you just had hernia surgery and needed to sit is sure to shut her up!<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh, I’m sorry that it didn’t work.<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: And now she’s making fun of your \u201cSolidarity Pin?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: What is a \u201cSolidarity Pin.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Oh, it’s a safety pin that signals to others that you’re a safe zone? And any persecuted group or person can take comfort under the umbrella of your entitlement, is that it? <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: So you’re kind of like an X-Man?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Got it. <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Are other people wearing safety pins rushing to your aid?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: No?<\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Well, maybe it’s your responsibility to find them? <\/span><\/p>\n Rachelle: Do you have your Ativan with you?<\/span><\/p>\n![\"pink-sorel\"](\"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/pink-sorel.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n