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{"id":6376,"date":"2017-05-05T16:51:12","date_gmt":"2017-05-05T16:51:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/?p=6376"},"modified":"2017-05-05T20:25:35","modified_gmt":"2017-05-05T20:25:35","slug":"text-messages-from-rachelle-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/text-messages-from-rachelle-2","title":{"rendered":"Text Messages From Rachelle"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

These are the text messages my wife sent to me the other day:<\/span><\/p>\n

*********************************<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: How’s the pulmonary rehab going, my love?<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Oh, I’m so glad to hear that you’re dominating the warm-up exercises!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Yes, you are a natural leader, it’s one hundred percent true!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: What’s The Flower Pot? <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: I see.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: So you sit in a chair, and then move one of your legs as if you were lifting it over a flower pot?<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: What a strange name for an exercise!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Well, I don’t know. Maybe something a little more macho, something like The Grizzly Stomp or The Sumo Crush.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: I like The Grizzly Stomp, too. You should write that down and put it in the Suggestion Box. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: You already suggested a Cosplay night! Interesting idea, Pickle, but aren’t all the other residents elderly?<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rachelle: I see, that’s good thinking on your part, you can make your oxygen tanks look like rocket packs!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: You are very creative, it’s true, and as you say, you are the Wayne Gretzky of The Flower Pot.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Really? The physiotherapist asked you to lead the class yesterday?! How flattering!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Yes, I am sure it was a great honour that everybody else was bitterly jealous of! I’m curious, did you get to choose the music for the work-out?<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: That’s great! Who did you pick?<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Oh.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Well, it just seems like an odd choice. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: I didn’t know, Tori Amos just seems weird to me. Complicated, annoying.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Sorry. I am trying to encourage and support you, my love.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Really?<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Right in the middle of the stretch she said you had a very small flower pot?!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: OMG, That’s hilarious! <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: I mean nasty, just nasty.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: 90 is old, and aging can make people mean.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: You’re probably right, that smart-alecky Yvette lady likely had dementia.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Because it’s not your class, honey.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: That’s why they wouldn’t let you \u201cexpel her from your program.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Well, I’m glad you put her on notice, anyway, and sorry that everybody is now calling you The Little Flower Pot. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Think of it being like Dear Leader, a term of respect and fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Well of course I miss you terribly, but I’m struggling along. Even had a little party last night to fight the loneliness. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Probably less than 25 people, I don’t remember.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: He might have been there, not positive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Oh, you’ll get a kick out of this!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: He brought his Porsche over the other day to take Jones for a ride, and Jones just loved it! I’ve never seen him happier! It’s astonishing Pierre doesn’t have any kids because he is just SO amazing with them!!<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Yes, you’re amazing with Jones, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Sure Jones misses you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Well, he’s still not really talking yet, so he missing you in a kind of subconscious way, I guess, but I can tell that he really does miss you!!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Tonight? <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Oh, Steve needed to take somebody to the magazine awards at some fancy hotel and Jen is out of town, so I have to go as his date. Barf.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: He was nominated in two different comedy writing categories.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: It is a shame none of your work was nominated!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: No, I have no idea why Steve won’t accept your Facebook friendship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: The world is mysterious.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Never mind that though, what are you up to tonight, my Little Flower Pot?<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Fish stick night! Yum!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: You’re my favourite fish stick, you know.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: It’s true.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: Don’t ever doubt that! <\/span><\/p>\n

Rachelle: You will always be my favourite fish stick! xo<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  These are the text messages my wife sent to me the other day:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6378,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[159,3305,57,113,138,1478,177,3279,1087,2491,4186,36,926,415,538,332,281,2268,149,434,69,696,333,4185,4174,699,50,4187,4188,38,3564,1534],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6376"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6376"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6385,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6376\/revisions\/6385"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6378"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}