<\/p>\n

As many of you will have heard, I have started a Podcast with Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

This is an excerpt from our second episode:<\/p>\n

*************************************************************************<\/p>\n

Me: Hey! Welcome back to The Breakfast Club with Heidi and Mike!!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi hungry! Where Heidi breakfast?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: We talked about this. You’re supposed to say, \u201cWe’re all bark AND all bite!\u201d after I introduce the show.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi no say lame catch-phrase, Heidi never say lame catch-phrase! If Heidi in Breakfast Club, Heidi want breakfast!! <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Whatever.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: ( Growling sounds)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Here’s a liver treat, okay? Now let’s just do this, dammit. Alright! Well, that sure was nice of Madonna to stop by to chat with us on her 60^{th<\/sup> birthday! She’s quite the woman!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n}

<\/a><\/p>\n

Heidi: Madonna big influence on Heidi. Very big.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: What do you mean?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Madonna help Heidi discover her feminine power. Help Heidi be sexually liberated.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Me: I have to say, I was really suprised to find out you’ve had more sexual partners that she has. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi very cute. Heidi always very cute, but Madonna help Heidi understand power of cuteness and unleash sex beast within. She gave Heidi Big Dick Energy.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: How many partners did you say you had?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi no say, but Heidi not finished. Heidi still counting. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: You have to respect that. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi Alpha. Pack always respect Alpha. Madonna understand. Pitiful four-eyed two-legger like you never know feeling of Alpha, never understand. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Well, maybe we should move on.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi not saying Vanilla Ice. Not saying not Vanilla Ice.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: You had sex with Vanilla Ice???<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi no say that.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: What are you saying?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi mysterious. Only see Heidi through glass darkly.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Whatever.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: You stupid face.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Personally, I thought Madonna was kind of dull and I was really suprised by how weak her handshake was! That’s what struck me the most. It was creepy.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: You creepy fart head! <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Moving on.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Creepy fart face!!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Moving on.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Creepy fart brain!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Bad dog!! Bad, bad dog!!!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Ha! Heidi good dog! Heidi Alpha dog! You bad dog! You very bad dog!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Whatever.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: You like when Heidi talk to you like this. Heidi know. She see history on laptop. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: I was researching Madonna for this interview.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Not naked interview. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: ( Sigh)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: You no have Big Dick Energy. You have stinky fart face energy!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: ( More sighing, a few seconds pass) So, what’s your favourite Madonna song?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi: Heidi like \u201cDon’t Tell Me.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=FRLHro9EPD0<\/a><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cJust Like A Prayer,\u201d for me.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heidi : Should be \u201cLike A Virgin.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Okay, well it looks like we’ve run out of time, thank you all for tuning in to The Breakfast Club with Heidi and Mike!!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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