<\/p>\n
I am an excellent father and husband.<\/p>\n
A true family leader.<\/p>\n
As such, I often find it necessary to call Family Councils so that my wife Rachelle, and our three year-old son, Jones,<\/p>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n can discuss important issues as they arise. These are the minutes from a recent Council:<\/p>\n *************************************************************************<\/p>\n Michael: Okay, Council #37 is now in order. I know that Jones has a matter that’s been troubling him. Jones, would you like to take Thor’s Hammer from daddy so that you might air your grievances?<\/p>\n Jones: NO!!! I WANT CAPTAIN AMERICA’S SHIELD!!<\/p>\n Michael: We’ve talked about this Jones, you wave Captain America’s shield when you want to be acknowledged by the Daddy Moderator, and you hold Thor’s Hammer when you have the floor. It’s sometimes hard to keep straight in your head, but it’s very important.<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n Rachelle: Why? Why is it important?<\/p>\n Michael: You see Jones, Mommy just forgot to wave Captain America’s shield to signal that she wished to speak, so the Daddy Moderator has no choice but to OWWW! Jesus Christ Rachelle! That thing hurts! You do know I’m on blood thinners, right? You know that’s going to bruise. It’s not just against protocol to throw the shield, it’s medically unsafe!<\/p>\n Jones: NO TALK DADDY!! JONES TALK!!<\/p>\n Michael: I cede Thor’s Hammer to Jones.<\/p>\n Rachelle: Jonesy, what’s the matter?<\/p>\n Jones: I want to break a chair.<\/p>\n Rachelle: Because of something daddy did?<\/p>\n Jones: Yes. Daddy did it.<\/p>\n Rachelle: What did daddy do?<\/p>\n Jones: I’M GREEN HULK!<\/p>\n