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{"id":7316,"date":"2019-01-17T19:24:16","date_gmt":"2019-01-17T19:24:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/?p=7316"},"modified":"2019-01-17T19:24:16","modified_gmt":"2019-01-17T19:24:16","slug":"text-messages-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/text-messages-7","title":{"rendered":"Text Messages"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
These are the text messages I received from my wife Rachelle the other day:<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
***********************************<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: WE WON 3-2, AND I SCORED ALL THREE GOALS AT HOCKEY TONIGHT!!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Thank you!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Yes!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: It sparked so much joy!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Yes, it sparked way more joy than throwing out all our old spices and novelty coffee mugs!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: It even sparked more joy than getting rid of your shirt with all the basketball players on it!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Pickle, that shirt was racist.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: It had to go.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually illegal to wear that shirt outside!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Whatever the fashion equivalent is to hate speech. That’s what that shirt was.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: It’s the sort of shirt Doug Ford would wear at the cottage.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Yes it is. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: I mean was.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Really?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: I was sure that Marie Kondo said that the joy was in the throwing out!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: So you think the idea is that if you hold it and it doesn’t spark joy, then you throw it out?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: This sounds like the sort of thing you’d be wrong about, Pickle.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Throwing out your racist shirt sparked WAY more joy in me than picking up that pilly, grey turtleneck you always throw on the floor.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Yes, Marie Kondo probably would look good in that turtleneck.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: But you should also keep in mind how good Tom Hardy or that guy who played The Bodyguard would look in that turtleneck.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Yeah, you’re probably right– you would finish far in the distance in this \u201cwho wore the ratty, old grey turtleneck better\u201d competition. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Look, I’ve got to get going. I’m swinging by Shoppers on the way home from my game, is there anything you want?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Okay, popcorn, coconut water and razors.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Why not Gillette razors?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: I don’t understand.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Are you for men being assholes or against men being assholes?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: I see.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: So your position is that you will not be manipulated by a consumerist society into believing the type of razor you use is somehow symbolic of the sort of man you are, is that correct?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: But regardless, you’re still getting your wife to fulfill your boycott and actualize your beliefs by doing your purchasing?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: So what sort of man does that make you?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: This isn’t a test.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: I have never in my life met somebody with more confused political beliefs than you, my love.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Rachelle: Oh, I think autocorrect must have changed it from nuanced to confused! Funny, that!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

These are the text messages I received from my wife Rachelle the other day:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7320,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[4382,884,138,4292,177,955,213,4774,4775,2108,333,4458,4776,699,50,60,28,38,4777,140,291],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7316"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7316"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7321,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7316\/revisions\/7321"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}