\n

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRESS CONFERENCE OF MICHAEL MURRAY’S CAMPAIGN ANNOUNCEMENT:<\/p>\n

Ladies and Gentleman,<\/p>\n

As you are all now aware, Donald Trump is an asshole.<\/p>\n

Sorry?<\/p>\n

No. No. Absolutely not. I did not mean to exclude anybody, I did not mean to be sexist. It was a mistake. I meant to say \u201cAmericans.\u201d I’m a little nervous. Can we just start again? Really? Can’t this just be edited out? Sweet Jesus, you media people really are the worst. Also, interrupting is very rude. I’m going to bring back civility, you know.<\/p>\n

Yeah?
\nYeah?
\nJust watch me.
\nOkay.
\nWhatever.
\nI’m just going to move along now.<\/p>\n

Fellow Americans,<\/p>\n

My name is Michael Murray and I am running for the office of President of the United States.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

What qualifies me to run this, the greatest country in the history of the universe, the country that gave the world baseball and fantasy baseball, Climate Change, Dolly Parton, Cheetos and sharks? It doesn’t matter. Suffice it to say that the members of my Sky Watch UFO Club were very satisfied with my leadership, and that my lack of a driver’s license is indicative of my visionary nature, as I could see an advanced, technological future that included robot chauffeurs. Also, I can almost speak two languages. Now, together, united as never before, it is time to take Trump down and Make America Great Again!<\/p>\n

Shit.<\/p>\n

Nerves again.<\/p>\n

No. Not at all.<\/p>\n

I meant Realize America’s Potential.<\/p>\n

Yes.<\/p>\n

RAP for short.<\/p>\n

And we will have hats and buttons with that on it once the donations start to pour in. You can send me money here:<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.murray2020.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Together, we can Realize America’s Potential!<\/p>\n

Michael Murray<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After the leak of a sex tape<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7432,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[81,3540,2132,815,843,4704,2297,4840,434,1532,333,2045,1984,38,448],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7430"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7430"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7430\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7433,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7430\/revisions\/7433"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7432"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelmurray.ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}