Thursday afternoon while taking the VIA train back to Toronto from Ottawa, I checked in on my Twitter account and came across a post from a writer that I follow and respect, but have never met:
“I can feel you judging me by my cover—and I don’t care,” her post said.
This message led to a link that showed a photograph of the writer, sitting on a VIA train and holding up a trashy book, the window behind her revealing the same Ottawa to Toronto landscape that I was also passing.
This is the conversation that followed.
@7777 You’re on the same train as me, and yes, we have been judging you by the cover of your book–it’s all we’re talking about up here.
@michaelmurrayca Aghh! Are you in my car?? (I’m not sure what # it is, but it’s the one with the girl reading trashy fantasy.)
@7777 My car contains a hockey stick (Pro 5000) and at least one person that did not take his Emergency Exist instruction seriously.
@7777 There’s also a guy in a red sweatshirt with some sort of aboriginal design on it–you know, like you’d see on a stamp or a coaster.
@michaelmurrayca Wait, are you in fancy shmancy first-class Via 1?
@7777 You know it, I’ve already had 4 screwdrivers! Hammered, tried to start the wave, but it didn’t take. (Actually sitting in “sad class” for the poor.)
@michaelmurrayca Also, the passenger sitting directly across the aisle is reading Keith Richards’ autobiography.
@7777 I’m reading Amy Sedaris Simple Times: Crafts for poor people, and I’m making a mobile out my VIA coffee cup.
@michaelmurrayca Also, we *had* a crying baby, but it seems to have been silenced.
@7777 “The Baby Has Been Silenced” is the name of my work-in-progress novel. There will be a demon on the cover.
@michaelmurrayca Haha! You’re funny!
@7777 I think I know a bad girl on this train that needs to be spanked!
@michaelmurrayca ??????
@7777 She’s just asking for it, that one.
@7777 By the way, what are you wearing?
@michaelmurrayca WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
@7777 I’m fucking drunk. First class, be-otch!
@michaelmurrayca I’m done with you.
@7777 You misunderstand, there’s a bratty 5 year old here, she needs to be spanked! By her parent, not me!
@7777 I have no idea if you need to be spanked!
@7777 And I just wanted to know what you were wearing so that we could talk about clothes! I got Desert Boots for Christmas!
@7777 I’m not even drunk! I’m eating a lunch my mother packed for me! I’m sweet and innocent, like a baby lamb!
(40 minutes passes)
@7777 Your last book was really good.
(An hour and a half passes)
@7777 Well, I didn’t read it, but I could tell from the cover. You can’t miss if you put a shark on the cover of your book is my opinion.
(40 minutes passes)
@7777 Your last book was really good.
(An hour and a half passes)
@7777 Well, I didn’t read it, but I could tell from the cover. You can’t miss if you put a shark on the cover of your book is my opinion.