As many of you know, Rachelle and I experienced almost immediate regret when we moved from our beautiful and perfect apartment in the Annex to our less beautiful and less perfect apartment on Queen East. As such, we wrote our old landlord and let him know that if it became available again, we would be happy to move back.
Over the last year and a half, we’ve been in correspondence with the new tenant of that old apartment, who would occasionally write to us with a question or to let us know if she had some of our mail.
What follows is a sample of some of the emails I’ve sent her:
Adriana:
Yes, the raccoons.
They often get into the garbage and I’m afraid there’s no stopping them as they come in fierce, rabid waves! I lost three toes to a pack of them one year and would advise you to NEVER wear flip-flops in the summer, as the raccoons see human toes as challenge. You had best just throw your garbage on the front lawn and let them have it.
Michael Murray
Adriana:
Thanks for letting us know about the mail, and yes, the door leading out to the back deck does sometimes stick. What you have to do is give it a little lift as you push it out and it should open with relative ease. By the way, have you heard anything strange in the back of the apartment? I’m just curious, as that’s where the girls committed suicide. It’s always colder back there and sometimes you can hear a faint whistling.
Michael Murray
Adriana:
The single man who lives just up the street is named Harold, and although he might seem kind of unfriendly, you shouldn’t be too concerned with him as his sex offenses were against children, and he seems to have no interest in single women who live alone such as yourself. He grabbed Rachelle once when she was getting out of the car after work, though, but she just hit him in the head with a rock and he hasn’t bothered her since.
Michael Murray
Adriana:
I just thought I’d drop you a quick note to let you know of a few of the health issues associated with the apartment. As you are frail and probably have a weak constitution, they might be of some concern to you, although they didn’t bother Rachelle or I at all.
There was an outbreak of Legionnaire’s Disease in the building in 2009. Three people were lost, including the parents of the two girls who later committed suicide. (Ironically, one of their names was Adriana!) Also, the Koi pond in the backyard is actually a breeding receptacle for the Norwalk virus, (the previous tenant was a medical scientist) so you don’t want to be touching that water! We found it best to wear surgical masks while in the house or in the backyard.
Anyhow, I hope you’re enjoying the new apartment!
Michael Murray
PS: And wearing rubber gloves is probably a good idea, too.
PPS: Do you miss Chile? That miner rescue was a pretty amazing and proud moment, wasn’t it? I bet you want to go back all the time!