As most everybody knows, The Rapture is predicted to be taking place on Saturday, May 21st. For most of us, this will have no immediate impact, as only “The Elect” will be gathered into the air to meet Christ and be called home to paradise. The rest of us will be left here on Earth to suffer for five months before we’re consumed by fire. It could be an unpredictable, nightmarish apocalypse, but it may also be a wonderful time of opportunity.
For a long time Rachelle and I tried to enter into the Toronto real estate market and buy a home, but on account of our poverty we were unable to do so. Now, with the righteous being pulled into the sky from their spacious master bedrooms, beautiful patios and prayer altars, we’re hopeful that the market will open up and we’ll be able to find the home of our dreams. We are definitely keeping our fingers crossed that the meek will inherit the Earth, or at least a home with some good bones, character and a backyard.
Developers in the downtown core will also be looking to convert empty churches into condo units, so I plan on keeping a watchful eye on that market as it may prove over-saturated and some units could be under-valued.
Another thing to keep in mind as The Rapture looms is that your Fantasy Baseball Pool will NOT be over. Remember, there are five more months for most of us, so the baseball season will end on it’s normal time schedule, as will your pool. If you have a particularly righteous player on your roster, now might be a good time to shop him around in a trade. Obviously, most pro-athletes, at least in America, have God on their side, and so it’s not unreasonable to expect many of them to be called home on the 21st. Trade these players now so that you have some value on your roster when they vanish into the heavens.